life nya~

Work

2011-09-19T22:51:00.001+08:00

Speechless and tired.

Made the wrong move. I don't know if I can last till Jan 2012.

I want to leave!!!!

Moody

2011-09-10T08:28:00.000+08:00

I'm at the downside right now and I hope it will go up again. Tired;(

Message to someone whom I can't say it to her straight

2011-08-08T22:15:00.003+08:00

I respect you as a manager, a boss, a mentor, a great women and a good friend and listening ear.

But stop plummeting me anymore.
You got your stress, I've my stress.

You don't like me now or you like me 2 days later and dislike me again 4 days later, it doesn't matter.
Stop venting your frustrations on me.

Don't act as if you know me so well.
Don't make me regret for treating you as a good friend and for trusting you and telling you everything about me.

Lastly, no matter how much you despise my work now, don't talk behind my back.
You think I am lacking, say it in front of me.
No matter how much I work my butt out, you don't like it I'hv got nothing to say.

I am not in a good mental and physical state for you to do such things to me currently.

2011-08-03T22:44:00.003+08:00

I am so stressed up for my exams, quizzes.
Even though i acted as if i am okay but in actual fact i'm really not.

I'm just disappointed with myself that i can't buck up and follow through my study plan. I will always get influence by other things and poof, there goes another day wasted for other things.

------

It is the thought that counts and the heart that matters.

I don't want to complain anymore, the same old thing, the same old people who are not there when i needed them.

But still...

I am tooo fortunate to be in this world with a good family, in a safe country, a few good friends, and a church and cell group that in the future i can start to devote and rely on.

move on, yes move on.

2011-07-19T23:45:00.002+08:00

New blogskin! The previous one become photobucket logo already.
I love it alot, clean and simple=)

I feel happier, contented nowadays. Learned lots of values in life and feel that i should realy cherish these moments as well as grab hold of the time now to do the things i want.

Of course time is not enough to do everything.

Scubu diving trip plans in september is called off and postponed to next year because it is monsoon season now.
Need to look for some other things to indulge in.

I also signed up for bible classes on saturdays. Going to church makes me feel that my life is meaningful and i really learn alot from church.

Encourage and be encouraged.

I need to learn to complain less and appreciate more.

In just one day and 15mins I will be 21 years old.

I am happy with the direction / way on how my life is going towards. I will also continue to try my best to filled it with more colours and make it as vibrant, enjoyable and meaningful as possible.

Thank you for all those friends who have been around when i need you and make a difference in my life and appreciate for who i am.

You know who you are, i dun need to say any names=)

omg, i got so many things in my mind now.
I will leave it for next time.
Yawns...tired.

not enough

2011-07-01T21:15:00.005+08:00

i'm feeling down again.
I want to enjoy life like a 21 should.
I should be out there living my life to the fullest.
Enjoying my youth and experiencing new things.
And not geting tired from school and work and then feeling so much emptiness when i reach home.

It really sux.

Esp on days where you feel down and crap.

Promotion

2011-06-20T22:30:00.002+08:00

I'm promoted=D

From QA Assistant to QA Executive=)

Little bit of pay increment and increase annual leave to 14 days.

Feel so happy and encouraged to work harder=D

2011-06-16T23:38:00.004+08:00

Friends who would listen to my woes.

Friends who will always try to understand me.

Friends whom no matter what happen will always encourage me.

Friends who does not forget you.

Friends whom you can chill out with and is approachable when you are feeling down and stress.

Friends who doesn't take advantage of you.

Friends who will never leave you in the lurch.

Friends who will never take you for granted.

Deliverance

2011-06-12T22:22:00.002+08:00

I can't get my mind off about what happen today.

Eye-opener and unbelievable experience.
But i'm still unsure whether is it true or not..

Give me more time to learn more about You before i confide in You.

2011-06-08T23:20:00.001+08:00

Oh shucks. I feel like giving up. Don't have a life at all=(

don't despise your gift and talent!

2011-06-06T19:53:00.000+08:00

Jealousy is something that is always in eveyone's heart. No matter how they try not to be jealous of someone, in the end you stil can't help it.

I am jealous of many people around me because they have what i don't have.
And when jealousy starts, comparison wil also step in.

I used to compare myself with others even until now i am still doing it and it is giving a great deal of pressure and affecting my emotions greatly.

Went cellgroup last Friday and just nice the topic is kind of related to all these kind of troubles i am facing right now.

3 Negative Mindset to Overcome to see breakthrough in life

1) What i have is insignificant to God
2) What i have is not enough
3) What i have in my hand is hard to let go

I constantly reminded myself this 3 things that Bruce shared to us in cell.

At sometimes it really helps but when you are feeling lonely like crazy, your mind start to think differently and you start to get depress again.

I reach my bottleneck and break down in the office. Bing told me, you should not compare yourself with other, that should be the worst and last thing to do. Comparing yourself with others will only make you feel even worst and depress and you will hate yourslef even more. Everyone is different and everyone has their own problems. For someone who may look like they are really happy but in actual fact they are not. Everyone is special and you should live your own life and not let others live your life for you.

Yeap, something to share to all who is still reading my lonesome little corner. This is like the optimistic version of the previous pessimistic post that i have deleted=)

2011-06-01T23:08:00.003+08:00

I feel that Wednesdays are the best days of the week ever since i started school.

I had a crush on my microbiology teacher !!! Sometimes hot and mature guys can give you those jittery feelings in your heart. Awww but too bad this is his last day teaching us. So wednesdays will be back to the same old wednesdays =(

oh man this is just so super random.

2011-06-01T08:23:00.000+08:00

When one thing crashes, everything else crashes.

cherishing now

2011-05-29T10:55:00.003+08:00

--
Over the past 3 months, many things changed; People who cared, don't care anymore. People who I just knew, involved too much. People who I took for granted, no longer allows me to. People who used to depend on me, became independent. And because of all those changes, what used to be very important to me, seem less important now and what I didn't notice in the past are what I'm longing to have it again.

My mindset changed, perspective changed.
Should I say I'm more mature now, or I'm just plain childish in the past?
--

I copy this part of blog entry from one of my primary school friend's blog.
Time has passed and everything changes.
Because we already lost what we didn't cherish in the past, so all the more we should cherish what we have now.

2011-05-17T00:45:00.004+08:00

I'm just lazy, scared and have no confidence to venture out alone.

Please give me the courage and confidence to stop relying on people and start making decisions not for the sake of other people but myself.

Give me the courage to make new bonds, new experience and new lessons ahead of my life to make it a fulfilling one.

Give me a smack on my face to wake me up and face the reality.

2011-05-11T00:13:00.002+08:00

I am not feeling any better since school started. Having not enough sleep, can't sleep.

My mood is like cranky all the time and i am sensitive with small things and make a big fuss about it.

And i guess everyone knows, i am not happy with my current job now. With the thoughts of quitting, yet still can't find a job. I'm losing my balance and the coolness that i once had. And starting to lose interest in my job.

Talking about making new friends in school. It's easy to say than do. Imagine 14 of the students are also working and in the same plight as me. You know is ain't easy at all.

I don't know if i am still tied down with the past. I can't seem to really be open and let go off myself. Trying to portray and acting as if you are happy when you are actually not. It's difficult.

My friends doesn't have the same interests as me, similar likings. Sometimes is hard to ask them out for movies, stuffs etc. Even though i know they will still accompany me but deep down i will feel bad about it. And i feel that i am relying on them too much. i'm really a bad friend.

Trying to balance your career, dreams and what you want to do in life is really difficult.

I'm aiming to go for japanese lessons next year and probably diving in this year or next year to confirm see if i have the time to do all these stuffs. Any willing people who have the same interest tell me and join me~

I need life and i need friends! I don't want to work and study all day long.

A New Day

2011-04-11T21:25:00.005+08:00

Loving others, helping each other and making time for your love ones. I'm glad i make it for service on Sunday. I really feel energized and pumped up again to face the challenges in front of me.

I feel that my road is really full of pebbles that are waiting for me to kick them away. However, when compared to others, I really feel that i am very fortunate so i shall not complain so much abt life=)

My classes start at 18th April. Its really gonna be a life changing one. I managed to finally see my timetable today and realize that i have 4 classes a week. Mondays to Thursday 6.30 to 9.30pm. I expected only 3 days a week. I can foresee fatigue and tiredness especially when i am also taking driving lessons and juggling with my work at the same time. Even though i am scare of the unknown challenges i'm gonna face in the future, having doubts about whether this long and strenuous path would be the right choice for me, but what come has come, so you got no choice but to face it if not you will never be able to move on.

40% scared, 40% nervous, 20% excited.

Mdm Lau is one of my lecturers=D This is one of the thing that pulls me back from thinking about the pessimistic side.

Please pray for me that i will be able to kick away all the pebbles and stones regardless of big and small. And do continue to ask me out! I believe in working hard and playing hard=D

2011-04-03T10:10:00.003+08:00

I think i will be blogging often now. Blogging constantly reminds me about what i need to do now and what i have accomplished. It is also a good place to vent your frustrations. Good idea huh. At least i wont dwell and go deeper and deeper into the hole of solitude. I want a change in my life. Need self improvement.

hate spammers

2011-04-03T10:09:00.000+08:00

i removed my tagboard. those spammers are annoying.

Moody

2011-02-01T23:01:00.002+08:00

First day of Feb, this shows how fast time passes. Life never passes so fast during schooling days. Once you reach 20, you feel like everything is speeding up.

I am quite moody lately. Yet trying my best not to think so much. My brain is filled up with alot of "What If "s. Being alone makes you think of more negative things and makes you even more depressed. So i have to psycho myself to think positive everyday about things and issues.

Is the same old issues about work and studies as usual and stuffs that have not happen. Really need to talk to someone and vent my frustrations.

CNY is coming, and i am going back to Meleka to enjoy my CNY and also the 5 days long break from work. Hopefully it will be a very good trip to relax and think through.

first step

2011-01-16T20:43:00.002+08:00

I am a stubborn person. I want to do everything according to my plan. I aim to acomplish something within the dateline. I tend to be naggy about all things. I tend to be pushy and somethings people would feel stress because of me.

Sometimes i know i am rushing to lots of things but i am glad to have people to tell me: "Mai Kan Joing and relax la, the things you want to do won't run away."

I only started to learn about myself and all these things only now. So really feel apologetic by my selfishness and how i treat people in the past.

Through work, friends and church really i learn alot.

I use to hate my job but i am somehow surviving it and regaining my passion at work. Now i really do not have any intention to quit. The company somehow trusted my abilities and gave me more projects to handle. Everything is changing because of the suggestions i put in and the efforts i put in. Really feel that my effort is finally taken notice by them. I love my job now and that is the reason why i can be so passionate about it.

The main point of this post isn't about the things i wrote above. I only feel like posting just because i wanted to announce that:

I BOUGHT MY FIRST BIBLE TODAY=D

I really wanted to scream and shout it out loud. I wanted to post it in my fb. But due to family reasons i can't. So i wrote it here, I wrote in in my bible (the first page: Gift to Yan LiHui on 16/01/10 from Herself) - i just fill in the blanks myself, i wrote in the box use to contain the bible, i also wrote it in my moneybook and my planner.

I was hoping for someone to give me the bible as a gift. But i decide to buy it today with my sis so that i can choose what kind i want as it is going to be with me forever.

I wanted to choose a date to buy the bible but i just have this strong feeling that i have to buy it today. And this week is 30% off all bibles and is like God telling me that: "see you really have to buy it today, is gonna be very worth it=D"

2010

2011-01-16T20:29:00.002+08:00

I was suppose to post abt 2010 and some of the events that were life changing and memorable. And i didnt post it! lols.

Candle light service, xmas service, thanksgiving, new year service. Spend most of the important dates with a great bunch of adults at city harvest church. I thought that Xmas is gonna be sad but i am glad to have my sis to slack with me through christmas eve night and then xmas service with 2 of my bestest friends and cellgroup and the another 2 of my bestest friends for the night and then my classmates for the midnight.

Then i spend thanksgiving with sis and cellgroup and new year with them also. How amazing=)

I have one full list of New Year Resolutions written down in a paper. Total 14 of them. I have also started out to fulfill each and every of them.

2010 has been a great great year, life changing and a year where i have matured alot.

This is a random post with not much beautiful words or proper planning to talk abt the last day of new year after all it has already past 16 days.

2011 is gonna be the best year!

2010-12-18T23:24:00.002+08:00

Question: Is it a good idea to socialise, go out and be good friends with a bunch of mature people who are maybe 10 years older then you, married and have stable career?

I need answers. SMS me, tell me or tag me on the tagboard.

2010-12-14T21:27:00.003+08:00

Thinking about Christmas this year, i started to feel sad and lonely.

Haa. i really don't wanna be alone this christmas esp at night. Even though i do have CHC event in the morning. This year might be the worst christmas since all even my parents have thier own events. Sadded.

And my company doesnt celebrate christmas. Even worst.

And i should be shopping for christmas presents for selected few but until now still dunno what to buy. I love christmas and shopping for christmas but this year abit dull.

I will try my best to entertain myself if worst come to worst.

New year is coming, and i feel the resolutions i made last year hasn't been realized or done at all. Dunno what i have been doing for this past year=(

But whatever it is Jan and Feb would be two very important month for me. Shall not disclosed for now. But please wish me luck for next year Jan and Feb, cause it might change my life totally for the better.

16/Randomnessssss

2010-11-26T22:04:00.002+08:00

16 days since i last blog.

Actually now i also dunno what to blog.

This 2 weeks lots of things happen. Like braces removed=)

Last week i have a great weekend with huiqin and yvonne=)

Work is irregular, sometimes the whole day i got nthg to do. But sometimes i busy like mad.

HACCP audit pass like a breeze. Obviously the company really use money la. The auditors were paid more. They didnt went to tour production and warehouse. Lots of documents that i did also didnt see. I feel abit disappointed. The hard work i put in and the hard work the workers put in for me were not recognised. I don't feel satisfied at all. I complain to Chee and Eugene. They say: "Ya, true. The real HACCP audit isnt like that. It should be very thorough. But don't think too much la...pass le good ma."

Now my work is basically Reports, Inspection, Rounds in production and warehouse. My focus is more on production though. Oh ya and sending samples for lab test. Today is the first time i pleaded on the phone with ALS Lab, asking them to help me and see whether if i can get the lisiteria test results in 4 days. God knows is impossible. Therefore i don't understand why yanfen who have a food science background demand me to demand from pple such unreasonable request. Called 3 labs for help. And finally found one who is able to help: Ugene Lab who focus more on a customer service, customer satifaction and marketing.

AVA also came for sudden inspection today. I was very happy that they come. Since during haccp audit the non-conformaces i hope that the company will rectify is not mention at all cos they did not went into production. AVA hit the right spot on all the problems. Me and Chee were like finally finally, the company is going to rectify al these problems if not they will get a B in next year=) How i wish they could get a B though, it will be a good lesson learnt for them. But it will not be a good reputation for me though.

Miss Tan praise me for the underweight report that i had done. She seldom praise pple. The fact that she praise me for the first time, i kind of take it as she acknowledge my ability. Obviously after that, i can see more emails and more demands coming. Is it a good thing? Half half la.

I hate it when people ask me about my age. Even though i am 20 yr old but i feel like a sensitive 30 yr old. But whatever it is i am still enjoying the fact that i am only 20 yr old. Being young is good.

Oh ya and being liked by people is a happy occasion also, even though i gotten used to it. I am immune to it becos of the sheng siong guy. Ah irritating pple.

Satisfaction

2010-11-10T20:41:00.003+08:00

I gave up a high paying job and choose to stay in this nerve racking job. I believe most people will say i am stupid to reject a more then $2k job as a QA Executive. But somehow, at the same time i am also proud of myself that i can actually fetch a salary that high.

But in the end i still rejected it. Comparing the job scope, i definitely can learn more in my current job.

And now i am not regretting it. In fact i am actually enjoying my job now. After Bing left, i realize that there are so so many things to learn. Heading the department alone ain't easy at all. I am still waiting management to approve hiring an assistant for me. My work is never ending but my timing is flexible, ever since Bing left, i am always unable to finish my work before 5.30pm. Often have to dragged until the next day. From QA, maintenance, production, warehouse, cleaner, sales, accounts, returned goods, ISO, HACCP and TAPA etc. I also dunno how Bing manage to do it herself alone in the past.

Somehow or rather, i felt that i am needed and valued by lots of people here and i am getting satisfaction because of what i achieved and accomplished everyday. People here are also willing to teach and guide me and support me. And i can see people starting to respect me more. And i also learn lots of stuff here, almost everyday there are new problems to solve.

My ISO and HACCP Audit is like this Friday, 12th Nov. I really hope everything would go well. Since Yanfen is helping me with the documents these few days. I will settle everything tml - major cleaning and confirming of all documents. Friday would be a tough day. Since the audit would be from 9am to 5pm for both production and warehouse. We have 2 auditors coming in. I will be in charge of going the rounds with the lead auditor and yanfen would be auditing with the assistant audit for the documents.

My first audit, wish me luck!!!

and then it ends with a goal

2010-11-02T22:49:00.003+08:00

My mood now is what my mood will be like when the following situation happens:

Downloading a 175mb Hakuoki episode at a speed of 1000kb/s and taking only 2mins 30secs to finish downloading.

Tomorrow

2010-11-01T22:28:00.002+08:00

Everything will end tomorrow=)

My frustrations will also end tomorrow.

Wish me luck and all the best tomorrow!!!

I increase my post per page cos someone commented that she miss out most of my post after i unlocked my blog. So pls let me know when u finish reading then i wil change it back to normal=)

Frustration

2010-10-31T23:35:00.003+08:00

I have been spelling Frustration as Fustration, fustrated.

Until i saw the correct spelling...lols, i feel so...hahaha. Have been using this word throughout my life but never thought that i have spelled it wrongly.

Well, this word clearly illustrate my current mood and actually also my mood for the past 2 weeks until now.

And maybe it will end tomorrow? Pray for me and wish me luck.

2010-10-30T22:08:00.005+08:00

I don't know what to put as a title for this post.

This week is a very very terrible week for me. My emotions are up and down. But still it is made up of downs. Work is so stress. I am flooded with yield test, lots of thinking, stress. I lost my appetite for this week. Alot of things happened. Like, problems with cleaner. First time ever i was scolded and blasted with so many hokkien vulgar like cb, lj, knn, kns and then consecutive of lj, lj, and more lj. Then i need to made some major decisions about whether to stay on this company to go to a better company since i had job offer.

Esp that this week is my hod last week in the company. Yesterday was her last day. The company could not hire someone to replace her. And now i and heading the department alone. So today i went back to the company to work half day. Suddenly felt so emotional. The whole QA office is so quiet, with me alone with 2 empty desk that were once occupied by bing and john. Now left me alone. Can i handle everything just by myself? Will the company really get me an assistant like what they promise me? Maybe i should leave?

But i still thank selvan for coming down once in a while to check on me, cheer me up, tell me to relax and see if i can still manage.

I break down like probably 3 to 4 times this week. Yesterday was my best mood since i completed my project: yield test for 50plus products, all done alone with occasional assistance from bing.

Today, i also feel scare and there is this fear in me. The attitude of chee like change, i can feel it. And in warehouse, everyone's attitude towards me is weird. Kind of very friendly towards me but still, i don't know was it in a good way or bad way. Outbound people still ok...But i know things are bad with people from sheng siong. Details i won't elaborate, people whom i spoke to should roughly know. I just hope that inbound don't get influence by sheng siong about the ridiculous rumours they keep on talking about me.

And for goodness sake! I can understand cantonese. So stop talking about me in cantonese when i am in front of all of you, like as if i don't understand canto.

Haa...i need to chill out and i need someone to talk to.

Weekends

2010-10-18T20:31:00.004+08:00

I had an awesome weekend with Huixin on sat and Fisherman's Friends on sun.

These people make my weekends. Too bad i didnt took a picture with huixin.

Chef Daniel and Himawari are both great=D

Randomness

2010-10-15T20:53:00.004+08:00

Randomness: One Piece simply rocks after 2 year later=D I love the manga!

I feel so shag this week=( Feel like my work is always unable to finish before 5.15pm. Thats why for these few days have been OT-ing until 6.15pm.

I think too much lately, i think i shall not think so much and do whatever i can. Just focus and don't sway & get influence=)

This weekends is exciting. Will be meeting huixin for chef daniel tml and then Fisherman's Friends on sunday=)

Then hopefully on Monday, AVA inspection would be a success and afternoon inter will be okay too even though i don't expect much =)

Decisions

2010-10-09T22:57:00.003+08:00

I am thinking about lots of stuff these 3days, which is just right after my confirmation.
I am confuse right now.
I don't know whether to send it out or not. Maybe i should send it out? To both? Since i may or may not get it.

But at the same time, i don't feel like backing out now. There is this feelings of attachment. The things i can gain in the future makes me feel like maybe i shouldnt back out.

But i really think i should send it out tommorrow and then the other one i should wait for the email reply =_= confuse, confuse just when i am starting to gain my confidence.

It doesnt harm to try. And i will always try to aim higher for my own sake. Hope i can stand by this point of view.

Limit

2010-10-04T20:23:00.006+08:00

I am almost pushed to the limit today.
Feel like the effort i put in is not recognised.
Reports, yield test and doing my rounds plus paperwork.
Each and everything is piling up because of yield test.

Haa.

A late boss and a demanding boss who expect alot from you.
What to do? Diam diam and do your stuff beh.

I need decent, "singaporean"clothes la.
Really don't like the feeling of been mistake as a china or a PR, i am not being racist anyways.
Probably should go out the streets to shop instead of doing it online =x
Date me if anyone wants to go shopping.

One Piece

2010-10-03T11:13:00.004+08:00

I am so addicted to One Piece!

Caught up with the manga and finally they speed it up and reunite 2 years later.

Best=D really excited about the story next.

I feel so HIGH. I am so in love with shanks and the rest of the characters=D

2010-10-02T12:03:00.005+08:00

Taken this pic at fiz hse corridoor, the catus so cute and freaky ^0^

Counting to one more mth with my hod, bing. And counting down to 2 weeks till the new QA to come. Then i will be working in a really all male envoironment liao. Maybe i will still get to see like 7 female production workers and thats it, excluding 3rd storey office people since i am working downstairs.

Knowing a few truths that bing told me, i started to get scared. I know is abit too much to treat someone like that regardless of whether the feelings is real or fake. But sorry! My god! I will make sure i will not go anywhere alone and i will lock the main door of the female toilet since it will be only used by me and only me downstairs after bing go.

I met up with some of the J2 people yesterday. We went to fiz hse for her birthday, she still look pretty and white as usual=) Other then the usual cliques like huixin and jolene, there is edmund, andy, martin, aloy and jiayin. The guys look incredibly dark after their NS except for martin. jiayin looks even skinnier then when i last saw her. Seeing them reminds me of schooling days.

There is no public holidays for Oct. But thank god we will be having fisherman outing for this mth. I am looking forward to seeing them=)

12 days to end of my probation. Please help me pray that my pay will increase.
And i want to say sorry to someone. Hope that i can do it by this week.

Meaningful Weekend

2010-09-26T21:44:00.002+08:00

I unlocked my blog, simply because i have not have the time to change my blogskin. I don't want to keep this issue of changing everything and emailing everyone concern. So troublesome. So i am now still using the same blog add and same everything. I chosen my blogskin and i hope i could change it by this week.

I had a meaningful week.

Work is as tired as usual but i am freed of some workload like barcoding - i don't need to do that anymore. And the workers are irritated of my nagging so now they rather do then get nag by me. So it makes my job easier and i can concentrate on other reports pending, paper works and minor details and plans to improvise the company.

I meet up with JCG yesterday. I really wan to post some pictures, but we are unable to upload to fb until our fisherman's group is created because of many many issues. I met Justin, Janet and Lukito, Choting, Chewloo, Guanwei, Ping, Sean, Joachim. Joachim left us early. Choting went back to school for guitar lessons and join us back for dinner. I haven seen Justin, guanwei for 2 years. So yesterday i stay with this bunch of pple for the whole day. Meet them in school for cuisine event, they went walk walk at bugis and orchard then dinner at liang court.

I realized how unsocial am i when i was in my poly days. I am a very quiet person, i listen but i don't talk. I don't join in conversations. Even though i hate it like hell but i wil still try to force myself to like it. I don't comment and i always keep a distance with people whom i am not close with.

It was only until today, when everyone start to work, went uni, and started to face realites in life we started to open up to lots of things. And it was only today that i have some serious converstaions with people like Sean whom i really seldom talk to, first time we talk so much. And to peple like Janet, ping - we talk about future plans, work, money and everything. They didn't know i was a manga and anime freak and that i have a kino card. All of them do not believe that my job as a QA requires me to shout and scold at pple everyday because they know me as a quiet and gentle person. I don't have a problem with chewloo and choting because we are quite buddy buddy.

Like amazing la, when we first met in school all of us feel like we known each other for years. And after not seeing each other for so long, we can still be like real friends. I think it must be fate la. I learn alot from them. Because they are a bunch of more mature friends - teacher, engineers, uni students, ns men, future baker-to-be and me, qa=) Probably is because of work, we seek for friends to relax and enjoy with so....

We graduated from tpjcg to Fisherman group. Originated from justin the fisherman.

In order to let people understand you, you must also speak up and talk to let people understand you.

So looking forward to another Fisherman outing in mid Oct=)

Foursome

2010-09-19T21:00:00.005+08:00

I'm so high on Saturday!!!

Meet up with amelia, huiqin and yvonne.
Spent a total of $118 @ Swensens at T2 each of us pay $30. Order sides, main and pizza and desserts. Again one best dinner with them. Non stop laughters=)

And all most of us are quite satisfied with what we have now. Esp yvonne. I'm hoping in the future i would find a company with better benefits and longer ANL. But i am gonna stay and try to improve the system and do my best in my current company. And all the best to huiqin hopefully she and jiayou and know what she really wants.

I buy my comics at one shot. Pay my HP bills, top up Ezlink card, Spree again online, buy snacks, went popular, and got my shampoo and hair mask. All in one day. The total amount of money spend on the day is enough to buy a iphone 4. And i shall not say how many GB would that iphone 4 be. I am glad i started my money book so that i could keep track of what i spend. And i encourage everyone to do the same thing as me. If not u will not know that u have already spend hundreds of dollars in one day.

And i want to buy Fruit Basket manga Tongli version and throw away my incomplete chuangyi version. The author is one of the best author i seen. Full of emotion and strength. Full of depth. Amazing. I used to not understand her works in the past, it was only now that i start to appreciated her works and talent. I swear i gonna buy the whole set by next mth.

Lastly, i must, in the next 2 weeks, pack my bedroom closet, change bedsheet and do some planning. Cannot delay anymore and room is in a mess.

Anime Endings

2010-09-19T20:42:00.004+08:00

I am gong to say bye to lots of anime this season.
And i am going to miss reborn!!! Last episode next week for the byakuran arc. I am so looking forward to the Simon arc but too bad if they are gonna end it=(

Kaichou wa Maid sama is ending next week too. I cannot see Usui anymore=(

Kuroshitsuji 2 ended this week.

K-ON!! also ended and i doubt there would be a season 3. I cried watching K-ON!! last episode because it reminds me so much of school life and enjoy after school time with your friends.

But i am still glad that Bleach and Naruto is not yet anywhere to ending. Thank God. Oh ya plus Fairy Tail too.

If i have the time i am gonna go back to One Piece and continue with the anime and manga. And manga for Bleach, Naruto and Kaichou wa Maid sama. I am at the latest with Reborn since i am interested in the Simon arc.

Yumeiro Patissiere and Uraboku also going to end their last episode next week=(((( Save me la...how to survive? But i know Yumeiro is going to have 2nd season.

Alot of good good anime ending soon. This just shows how time pass and tomorrow is back to work again.

Have seen the new anime for October, selected a handful. Like Yumeiro 2nd season and Hakuoki 2nd season and probably ard 6 other titles. Hopefully it will be as good as the last 2 season.

2010-09-16T21:42:00.005+08:00

Yeah, i still have lots more to work on.

I had a good hair day today=)

A bad work day with wang kai.

Because he is trying to make things difficult for us.

I thought i am gonna cry again but i am glad i didnt because i know the rest of them still respect me=)

My legs are full of blisters, big and small.

I'm running around in my boots these days because of yield test and barcodes.

I can't possibly split myself into 2 and do these 2 things at one time.

And today there is a blackout in production.

Pitch black and no one in the maintenance can fix it.

Look at how weak our maintenance team is.

Friday tomorrow!!! And no work on sat. I have got a series of events lining up for me this mth. I am crazily looking forward to each of them. They will help me pass this no public holiday mth in a happy flash.

I started my money book liao. And next week i gonna start the real financial planning wih my mum. I got so much to do!! Hopefully i don't get lazy and push everything till next year=)

happy day!

2010-09-14T21:50:00.006+08:00

I locked my blog.

Because i received several comments from anonymous on my tagboard which i am not fond of.

So i decide to change my blog add and blogskin.

And a picture of my office table=D In the midst of report writing that moment. The whole table is so me, if u know the things i use. Hahaha.

Today is a not bad and quite good day=D

I thought everyone is going to blackface me today but ended up the problem is not me lah!

alamak...i think too much liao.

I enjoyed today.

Is tiring to do the yield test for each products we have.

I like to eat chicken thigh but i hate it RAW!!!!

Taking weight for the raw materials to the packing of the chicken thigh (715pkts).

Insane, it took me and bing 3 hours standing down there and taking down the weight.

But i have a fun time with the workers.

You get to understand them and they get to understand you.

Is a win-win situation=)

I am going to make changes to the style fo writing in my blog.
So is pictures and pictures from now onwards=)

Emotions in control but still angry

2010-09-08T20:22:00.002+08:00

I joined yvonne and marcus for Buddhism class and lessons on last friday.
Even though the lesson wasnt much covered since we start introducing new members and first timers so time was push back. But i still learn something that benefit me alot. Something abt being single minded and pushing out all negative thoughts. And the books that i got from the temple: How to overcome ur fear and worries etc. I placed it in my office and read it everytime when i have the spare time to if not when i am fuming and angry over something. It really calms me down. Is like another bing/yvonne. The words that are used to encourage me are all inside. Is a really good thing.

I am glad i have sel and bing with me. They are always with me when i need them. Bing is leaving and interview for a new replacement for bing is at next week.

Today again i have the whole of the production workers complaining about me again. Meeting was held just bet the workers and Chee, our prd exe. Apparently he pacify the workers and sided with them totally with no standing and support of QA. The major changes noted in the workers after the meeting was drastic. The attitude towards QA, toward me, changes. At that point of time, i know, i know the effort i put in for the past 2 mths to change the workers have all gone down the drain just when it is starting to improve. Just becos of one coward, one prd executive who can't control his own workers that he needs to resort to siding with them. He sux. So what if u have experience at Prima deli and big big companies. In th end u are nothing if u can't scold and control your workers.

I'm gonna start my battle again on sat. It was supposed to be a public holiday on friday but i still have to go back to work for half day on sat. =_= At least is better than nthg.

And then when i thought i could relax at home. I am so pissed off by my bro. He eat my gummies from minitoons, my royce chocolate bars from japan. Then he even wont let off the few pork slices on top of the fried noodles which mum prepared for me for my lunchbox tml.

Ahhh...tml i really hope the malay store at woodlands interchange so that i could get my daily supply of the pressed egged sardine sandwich. That is the best la. And i want to try the kueh kueh tml also. Hopefully they won't close because Friday is Hari Raya.

And Crispy Prata tml with bing and sel. I am so so looking forward to tml=) May it blow away all my unhappiness tml.

Ups and downs

2010-08-31T20:32:00.003+08:00

I feel like i am in a roller coaster ride these few days.
Work for me is like a surprise everyday.
New problems everyday.
And i got workers who actually request meeting with Jeff, our operations manager just to complain about me.
And i always feel that Chee is not supporting QA like what he do.
The tremendous stress i felt facing different levels of people each day ranging from directors, hods, colleagues, workers and my cleaner.
QA has the best performance department as well as the most hated department and always kena blamed for all the problems happening in the company.
I suddenly feel that QA is more suitable for me then R&D.
But you will never know what happen in the future also, cause no matter what i will still be in food tech.

I meet up with huixin, jolene, cheryl, jaime and jaime bf on Sunday to celebrate cheryl bd.
So long never see them but still happy that they are now working and most of them are going in the direction they wanted.
I have lots and lots of thoughts after i meet them. Bad ones and goods ones. But not about them, is about how i think about myself and life, what i really want. The mixed feelings I'm having now.
But it is really good to have friends around you who can support and accompany you.
That's probably one of the reason on why i wanna go back to study again.
I felt, maybe i should not just stay in this circle of mine. People make friends in religion and make friends from friends. But i have neither interest in religion if though i really try to like certain religion but am unable to devote into it. I also do not have enough friends to know friends from friends.
Maybe going back to studying is a good way to know more friends and broaden ur circles. Esp when i am working now and started to learn how to communicate with people instead of being the usual quiet self.

And i wanted to look for happiness. Like what Bing says. Maybe i should start. Now, probably.
I have lots and lots of things to pour out. But i shall just keep the confidential stuffs in my heart beh.

2010-08-26T22:17:00.004+08:00

"Is life going to be like this and that's it?"

Someone told me this when she reached the breaking point in life.
And i am starting to feel this way too. I want more surprises in my life, if not i will be more and more unhappy.

2010-08-20T21:24:00.004+08:00

I feel so guilty yesterday.
I am falling sick so i and completely blur state yesterday.
Wrong barcodes and more wrong barcodes and amazing, no one notice about them

I created halal pork.

My god!!!

I promise it will not happen again.

I fell sick and getting serious today...coughing and coughing and then start to have runny nose!
Thank god i don't need to work tml cos tml is finally not my shift liao! Bing wants me to go home to have a good rest cos she cannot afford me to go on mc since production will be a chaos if i am not there at all times.

Today the new production supervisor guy came. A rather very experienced guy who work in big companies before. He believes in documentation and working closely with QA. Hooray!!!~ We are hoping for big big changes during his term.

And i am quite touched today. Today is the first time i feel that all the workers respect me alot. I have gain their trust and respect because of closely working with them and constantly making sure they are safe from the hazards in production. Seeing the improvement in production, i feel a sense of satisfaction in my heart. And some even say they would only listen too me and not the production supervisor. Either is a joke or is it true, i am still foolishly happy about=) But when they started to seek u for ur help and advice this also means that they trust u too. And nonetheless, i will also do my best to help them if i can.

Apparently i talk about work to my mum but she went for meeting today and still not yet come home thats why i am blogging here. Cos no one to talk to ma.

Even though i dunno the john who tag in my cbox. Apparently "john" is trying to use my colleague's name, john. But what he say is really true. I read through my recent blog posts. Oh gosh, i really sounded like i work off my lifetime and is already reaching old age.

People... i have not work for a lifetime yet. I just started my working life one mth ago. Please don't let my tired and blog post full of complains to confused u=)

I just connected to singnet wireless becos my starhub doesnt work at all! It is only 2 days ago tat my bro found out that our singnet modem actually have wireless. Stupid us and is even faster and less lag than starhub.

This is probably a good week to enjoy and relax myself.

Working Life

2010-08-16T20:17:00.005+08:00

I feel that i lost part of my life after working.
Because of tiredness everyday, i have no energy or mood to go out with friends after work.
And then i work at a place which is just few bus stops away from singapore custom and a few more stops away from JB.
I need 1 and a half hour to travel back home. And sometimes if unlucky i would be stuck in a jam because of all the malaysian workers going back home.
One day not enough sleep also means 1 week not enough sleep. Resulting in yourself making huge mistake at work and causing trouble for everyone. If not missing the details and details of each area and people you need to inspect and keep track of.
Everyone is watching you because you would be the future department head temp taking over your powerful hod after she left for maternity leave. And definitely i can feel everyone is waiting for her to leave and i will have to deal with everything and the problems they will be giving me.

And then i started to worry about further studies even though it is still mths before the intake. I want to meet up with the Gardenians esp suann and hongyun so i can seek their help and advice.
Haaa...i really miss my classmates, school friends and gardenians. I really want to further studies nya and go back to schooling life again. First in singapore and then see if i can make it to a uni in overseas cos i saw my cousin and most of my friends studying in overseas and they are having tons of fun meeting new people and enjoying their life as a student there probably for one sem or 6 mths. This will be another future goal for me.

Thanks god i am still 20. I have a long way to go.

Recent Days

2010-08-15T17:22:00.005+08:00

Actually i was thinking of updating my blog on the 12th of Aug. Why? Because...is my 1 mth in Pin Corp=) Time passes so fast everyday and unknowingly it has been one mth. In 2 mths, my probabtion will end and in 2 1/2 mths, my hod is leaving. Even though i am facing immense stress in work but i am also receiving equal satisfaction in my work. I think that i am doing reasonable job now but i still have a lot to improve on.

And the comapany had BBQ party on 12 august also. Just outside our reception. Nicely and wonderful marinated meat of all kinds - mutton, chic wings, pork, satay. Even though most of them are return goods from our customers and maybe some were expired but still able to eat la. Of course checked by QA which is also me. I didnt have alot anyway. One of our directors even perform a magic show to all the staff.

And on the 11th i went out for lunch with Selvan and Bing. And Sel bring us to a very very fantastic indian restaurant called Karu Indian Banana Leaf Restaurant which is just few bus stops away from the company. The most delicious fish head i ever eaten. The chicken masala is even better then the one that the indian chef who taught us indian cuisine during our poly praticum. And then everything is served on a banana leaf - free flow of 2 side dishes and briyani/plain white rice. Crackers also free flow. Currently the best indian cuisine i ever had, good service, comfortable place, affordable and cheap price!!! We decide to go there once a mth if not to other restaurants after our payday=)

I seriously have great colleagues - sel and bing=)

I bet many of us who are working will always be hoping for public holidays. My desire for public holidays were never that great when i was still schooling. And i missed the August 9 - 3 days public holiday that i had last week. And i regretted not doing more sensible things like cleaning up my room, dissecting my sis bed so that i can have room for a new bookshelve, packing my closet cos it is overloading with many clothes that i bought online and they are still in plastic bags not ope up yet. Instead i spend the 3 days dling anime, watchin pps and sleeping and eating all day.

And i am looking forward to these public holidays to come and most of them are on fridays=DD
Holidays are great when they fall on fri or mon.

1) Hari Raya Puasa 10th Sept

2) Deepavali 5th November

3) Hari Raya Haji 17th November

4) Christmas 25th Dec

Counting out Christmas, i hope that i can accomplish dissecting my sis bed, packing my closet and getting a new bookshelf from ikea with different compartment size so that i could put other things also. I hope i can accomplish all these by this year. I was amazed when i went ikea last sun, i am overwhelmed by the design and colours of all the furnitures. Giving Ohhhs and Ahhhs when i pass through each of their showrooms and thinking how i wish i could have a european home style yet modern kitchen and cosy living room and bedroom in the future.

I will work very very hard for the future. Suddenly have another goal.

Today i was disappointed with Billy Bombers @ Bugis. The food is expensive and the portion is not enough to fill you up...And the buffalo wings isnt as good as we thought. I went there with yvon and she treated me there for belated bd celebration=) Nonetheless even though the food wasnt good. I still enjoyed myself today! Chat alot and as usual we still go to kino, then back to tampines for ntuc and snacks=)

I am suppose to tweet, but i haven done that long time ago liao. I suppose i am more suitable for blogging then tweeting. Since i am so longwinded~ I wan to put down everything and anything i hope to rmb in my blog=D

Stupid me

2010-08-07T17:22:00.002+08:00

I did a very stupid thing today. I almost breakdown in front of all the workers.

And i did breakdown and accidentally let one of them saw me.
I was crying in front of bing telling her i was too angry, angry until i cry.

First time i lash out and scolded someone until i cannot take it. Even though this happens almost most of the day, but today i feel that i overdone it. I regret scolding so loud and slamming the gloves on the table and demand that he wears it. But to me even though i did regret my i clearly know that i did nothing wrong.

The production supervisor left since today was his last day. Being a china guy, he influence alot of china workers there. And my hod, Bing is going to take over him temporary. He create lots of problems for us today. Trying to make us look bad after he leave. Everything and everything till the fact that i feel that there will be a major change when we go back for work on tuesday. Either the china workers all quit if not don't listen to us.

With only me and bing. Working as a team in production and qa at the same time. I couldnt even rest for a while except for lunch. I had OT but apparently my contract doesnt give me OT pay. Haa.

I really hope she will find me an assistant before she leaves. And i will try my best to learn all the wms computer system, navision, cctv, warehouse, production etc and etc in this remaining 2 and half mths before she leaves for her maternity leave.

2010-08-06T21:12:00.003+08:00

Ah alone again.

So tired tired and tired.
Sometimes it really feel bad when you care so much for people but people don't even care about you when they know you are feeling dead tried and stress.

PA for bing. Now handling production, certificaton and QA.
Joh resign and left the 2 of us.
Mentally and physically tired.

Barcodes, headaches cold and runny nose

2010-07-30T20:29:00.003+08:00

Today was raining super heavy at woodlands.
That is what always happen when you work somewhere near Malaysia and yet you are in Singapore. You experience the most drastic changes in the weather.

Sun yet raining.
Sudden downpour when it was sun just 5 mins ago.
Rain for the whole day.
Temperature for the day drastically went down by 2 to 5 degrees.

So the production area was so fucking cold that the workers have to wear their thick warehouse jacket that they only wear when they go warehouse.

And not to say, if the production is so damn cold. What about the warehouse which usually have temp lower then 5 degrees.

Production is my area so u can imagine how much time i spend in there. Plus the barcoding.
I am sick, headache and runny nose. I feel like my nose is going to drop any moment. It was so so terrible that i did wrong barcodes for 5 pallets of goods, could not concentrate at all. With expiry date at 4/2010 instead of 4/2011. I only realize it after i take my lunch ad drank hot milo, only then i was completely *awake* and found what huge mistake i made.

Goodness Gracious. I need to track the goods through their high tech automated system. And basically the production supervisor refuse to lend his support. To prevent trouble coming back to us, we decide to go to the warehouse to solve this problem. Call out the goods from the system and replace the barcodes. A small mistake can actually create such a big trouble esp when we were not train in the system except for creating barcode and tracking goods. We are not authorize to call out goods. Stay in the warehouse for 30mins. Freezing cold since i haven thaw out after staying in production.

And basically i have not gotten my staff pass. And without my staff pass i could not go to warehouse w/o bing even though i am authorized except for places that only need fingerprint.

Ah what a day. And i still need to work half day on sat. After i finish this mth. Starting from next mth i can start to alternate my sat. So i can have 2 weeks saying TGIF. And it's gonna be payday! My half mth of pay minus CPF. Hopefully i can get it tml since all the staff gotten their payslip except me. No choice i am new there.

Entertaining

2010-07-29T21:38:00.004+08:00

I have not been updating this week. Because one reason: tired. I slept at 10.30pm almost everyday. Say that i have no life. Yes i really have no life and my friends are all so busy. No one ask me out, so i also don't bother at all. I only rmb it now because i am constructing this post. If you ask me whether if i am sad, partly yes and partly no. No replies back when i sms them. Do i feel frustrated? No, cos i am used to it. It's a miracle that i could actually survive this kind of loneliness when i couldn't in the past. Does that mean i have matured?

And i really wanna watch nodame cantabile movie. I finish the drama, 3 season of the anime but i miss out the 1st movie and i think i gonna miss the 2nd one - the finale. Shall learn from someone. Go by the dvd and watch it all you want that is the best thing cos you do not have to urge people to go watch it with you.

Sometimes it really sux when you have no one to talk to and everyone is so busy. But i am seriously glad that my family is with me. And i have got understanding bing and john with me so that i don't feel so stress at work.

I think i am gonna try to blog at work, not everyday but once in 2 or 3 days during my break.

My week was quite entertaining for me:

- Mum dedicate her first-time-making-sushi just for me and sis bought me bd cake from Bakerzin, the effort my family put in and gave it to me, something simple yet has a feeling of warmth.

- AVA dinner with management and i saw kum mui there with Gardenia receiving their 15 years of continuously getting AVA Gold Award. My company is also one of the recipient. First time though.

- Dinner with Huixin and her friend Kai hong, nice meeting her and we chatted until 10 plus=)
And glad she really know what she really like to do.

- 5 returned goods report finished just yesterday

- Fell sick like 2 days ago because of in and out or production area. I think i need more jackets.

- Nalison leaving Pin just because he wasnt "liked" by the production supervisor due to his outspoken behavior. And the company decide not to renew his contract.

Alot of lessons learnt when you see the different lives of workers from china and malaysia coming here to work. They need to pay the agency thosands of money and they need to send money back home and they have to spend the rest of the month with the little amount of money left. Working from the bottom and see things from different point of view, that is probably something that i have learned the most.

It's never to late to do something. But somehow i feel that it is too late.
I never do something on my own and everywhere i go i need someone with me.
But i am trying to step out of this circle but i still need someone to with me to make the first step.

How?

Starhub

2010-07-18T15:08:00.003+08:00

I feel like killing Starhub these few recent mths.

Their internet connection is getting bad to worse. Who says their internet connection doesnt get affected by rain?

Seriously i don't understand.

Waited for few hours for my dl. Out of 5 max dl, none was successful because the internet cut me when my dl was at 85% to 90%. And out of 2 MU max dl again none was successful even i tried dling the same episode for 3 days.

Damn.

Even though i started working i couldn't live w/o my anime.
I need them to be alive!!!

Haaa. My another frustration for this week and probably for the rest of my life until i have money or anime can be easilly found in singapore. It bleachexile hasnt change to anime access. My life would be better.

Butterflies again

2010-07-16T22:25:00.002+08:00

Sometimes it is weird that you are so fated with very pretty butterflies.

It is the 3rd pretty buterfly i saw like yesterday. With wings there have 3 whisker shaped wings. Blah i dunno how to describe also and it is very huge!

But i am glad there are no more moths in my room.

2010-07-16T21:47:00.003+08:00

I am suppose to update on 12th July - first day of work, but i didn't cos tired or what then i am still engross in trying to make an effort to dl my anime but i end up in bed at 11pm.

I like my job now. I thank whoever is praying hard for me, friends, sis and mum. For someone who has no religion at all had the blessings from people of different religions. It makes me think that i should actually devote myself into a religion to make myself more knowledgeable, happier and more confident to face anything.

I work in a team of 3. Yes such a big company and one of singapore biggest meat importer and exportor and automated coldroom storage only have a pathetic no. of 3 QA. So you can imagine hard much the workload is when i have not join the company.

I am in charge of the production area. Need to do QC check in the production area, supervise all the 35 production workers in their attire and hygience. And basically i am having problems with china workers. Then to inspect in process production and incoming and outgoing goods and raw material. Fill up forms etc and all that. I spend my time in an hour interval or 15mins intervals in a 11 degree C production room. Check cartons for batch no and barcode. Print barcodes and check temp for the products.

Thank god i am not in the warehouse as it is 5 degree C. Poor John. But i will still need to go there one day since Bing will rotate and train us in different areas.

I have a very great boss, Bing and a very good colleague, John who was attached to the warehouse after i join the company. But we still stay in the small small office where our stainless steel desk always has very strong static=) which feels like electricity to me. And where our computers always have problem and we have to ask our dearest friend, selvan to do something for us.

Even though i only work for 1 week but i feel that i have work for 1 mth. Time passes very fast there so is a very good thing and i have buses back home so i can reach home at 7pm.

And there are not much staff there actually so everyone is like a small family lahs. And they also organize events like birthday party every month where different staffs are actually appointed in groups to plan for the event. They also have bbq every 6mths of course using the company's unlimted supplies of meat and meat products. They give chocolates to the birthday babies. I experience it today and it was fun lah. Games, songs, cake and food. The first time i saw my production workers laughing so happily and smiling at the cameraman.

And Bing is slowly handling and training me about what she is doing, the SOP, HACCP, halal cert, complains, exchanged goods, AVA, etc etc...because she is leaving this Nov for maternity leave for 5 mths. So i will be taking her place for the 5mths she is not here.

I really can learn lots of stuff from this company, Pin.

Stress is what i am feeling now. Since trying to cooperate with the production workers and their supervisor is making me: "=_=" but i am now getting the hang of it as i am slowly observing and understanding their behaviors and habits.

But whatever it is i am happy that i got a great and super experienced boss.

And i am happy for Huixin today! Jiayou and hope you will have a great time there=)

I am also happy that Hongyun call me today and basically at he bg of the phone i can heard kum mui, suann and beehong laughters. It seems like the gardenians are actually curious about what i am doing now and trying to date me out for movie.

Whatever it is i am gonna work hard. And i am planing for something in nov/dec and when accepted it will make my life even more tired. Let see how=)

Thinking too too much

2010-07-09T18:27:00.002+08:00

I am glad that i have a knack of thinking too much and dreaming too much.

It help me alot.

I have kfc today! even though i wish it was Popeye i am having.
I'm being random again haha.

And i feel like eating pasta.

haa...today is a very windy day.

2010-07-08T23:20:00.002+08:00

I saw Mdm Lau on tv just a few mins ago!

She was actually in the chinese 11pm news talking about R&D, product development and Food Technology in mandarin.

Lols. amazing sia.

So happy and proud that she was once our teacher=)

Officially Employed again=)

2010-07-08T15:11:00.004+08:00

Checking back the date that i first send my resume to look for a job was 5th April!
And a total of 30 plus resumes were sent and like less then 10 called or send me email. Obviously i wasn't really efficient in job hunting in april and may la considering after the operation.

But now i finally found a job related to my course of study. 1st interview like got very big chance because i clique with the HR, Yan Fen very well since she is previously from TP food sc. Then i told my mum that cannot have too much hope la, even though my interview like very big chance but the company may not want to hire me and i was only interview by the hr not the hod since she is on leave.

Yan fen reminds me of Hong yun. Maybe they know each other, shall ask her someday.

Then I went for a 2nd interview at the company today with the hod, Bing and after chatting with me she decide to hire me as her QA assistant=)

Bing: Okay, You are hired!=)
Me: Oh...Wow *smile*

I am having 2nd thoughts of wanting to consider first if they hire me because of the location. But today i immediately sign the contract becos of Bing, i had the very strong feeling that, yes if she is my boss i feel that i would have a great time working and learning from her. She got that "mdm lau" feel. even though she is a Filipino=)

Since it is a 1 year contract, i cannot quit in that one year which is also good for someone like me who is always prone to illness and giving up. The working hours are from 8 to 5, lunch time, pay, benefits are all that i expected=) I have buses to there also, 168 to woodlands then change bus to there.

Yan Fen drafted out my contract already like yesterday even though i was not confirm yet. And today Bing told me to wait for 2hours for the contract to be type out and in the end i got it in 30mins becos Yan Fen drafted it out yesterday without bing knowing.

I am very very happy but not to the extend of jumping and shouting in laughter. Just suddenly feel that yes it time to really work hard and don't take things for granted. And that finally after so many mths of job hunt and finally la.

And because it is a very stressful job considering you need to be firm and fierce and communicate and reprimand people on the quality standards. I am now preparing my heart and my mind to face the problems that i will face in the future. And because they chosen me, i know that all the more i should work hard to show them. Another reason is also because of the performance bonus la - pay rise - after my 3 mth probabtion.

Really finally feel like i have a job liao, didnt have these sort of feelings when i was at awfully chocolate. I shall work hard on monday for the sake of myself, money and future!

Butterflies and Moths

2010-07-05T11:58:00.003+08:00

Yesterday i saw a very pretty white butterfly in my room.
From the whole body to the wing is all white lor!
White butterfly body also the first time i see it. The wings are also very pretty like streaks of glitter.

I thougt i was dreaming but i am not and it is flying around me

Is a surprise since my room only attracts moths, i can have like 4 moths in my room one night.

Anyway, i thought that it was dead since it lay flat under my sister bed and does not budge even though i try to distract it.

But it was gone in the morning. Whatever it is still a surprise la=)

Park Yong Ha

2010-07-02T22:34:00.004+08:00

RIP Park Yong Ha

Even though i didn't watch Winter Sonata but i can still remember i watch On Air because i saw you in it.

Feel kind of sad that i will never see someone with such good acting skills and my type in korean dramas anymore=(

I am suppose to post this like 2 days ago. Well too late is not too late also.

Recovered

2010-07-01T20:00:00.003+08:00

I finally recover from my gastric and stomach problems.
The wind inside my stomach and my bloated gastric finally stop torturing me after 5 days.
The wind suddenly disappeared while i was watching tv like 10 mins ago i was still in the kitchen complaining how terrible i felt while drinking my glucose drink.

Still have to watch my diet, no oily stuff, have small meals since i feel that there is still a little wind in my stomach that can turn to big big wind.
And Dr Chong medicine really didnt work at all, maybe it did work but all i felt was terrible and terrible after taking his medicine. This medicine is said to get rid of wind and abdominal discomfort. But what i feel is that it pushes all the wind down to my stomach, everything clumps down there and never gets out.

Recovered also mean one thing, yeah have to start finding a job again. Hopefully my jobhunt is a success and i will end up with a perm job at the end of july. This is my goal for the mth.

I can remove my braces in about 3 mths time=D Actually it can be done earlier, i think is because i haven been doing the rubber bands thingy everyday that why it is taking longer the usual. From rabbit to penguin and now i am on foxes=) Cool. I await for the month of Oct where i will move on from braces to retainers.

And people can u imagine?! I took a step forward now. I am reading english novels, and currently halfway through one of the 3 novels i bought with the times voucher 7 princess and shasha gave it to me last year for my bd present. You girls changed a person from reading comics to reading novels.

I haven touch any english novels except harry potter after i graduated from secondary sch. And it is a good choice that they didnt got me kino vouchers if not i would have spend all that on comics and not on novels.

Anyway times have limited interesting novels, i would recommend mph or kino (but u may have to tell the store keeper - only english novels)

=D

Gastric pain

2010-06-27T20:07:00.003+08:00

I almost the whole day is bed today. From last night till this evening.
Gastric pain until cannot take it.
And i vomited out the cheesecake which we ate during the pre-celebration for huixin bday.
Apparently i believe that should be the cause of the problem.
Even though i have been not feeling well due to the medicine i took for the leg is too strong for my gastric.
But i really feel that there is some problem with the not cold cheesecake.
Never gonna have any desserts from cafe cartel anymore...=_=//

I feel so light as if i am floating today haha because i haven had any proper food. Only milo and bread. Now mouth also got ulcer becos of the milo.

And mum say that i have an extremely super weak body, everyday problem after problem. True also. Really need to take care of my health, even though i have had make changes to my diet but my health is not improving at all.

That why i always emphasize to my friends to take care of your health more then anything else.

People please take care of your health and don't be like me. From head to bottom, my health problems are like from migraines, braces, slight asthma problems, stomach and gastric then to leg.

Bad news/Good news

2010-06-24T23:43:00.003+08:00

I successfully tender my resignation.

Got a feeling they have been trying to avoid my calls but eventually still manage to tell them.

Still have one week notice which mean have to work one more week until next thurs.

I did mention in the previous post that i hurt my ankle. And it did get more pain in the later day so i went to see a doctor.

Yes and found out is Guan Jie Yan something related to inflammation of the bone. Osteo immunology or what. Swelling of the leg and pain in the legs due to long hours of standing and walking. It may sound like those kind of old people aliment but is another different but similar kind of aliment which will even happen to young kids to people of any ages. And is inborn. Which mean you have it when you are born. All i know that is thing will follow me throughout my life until the day i die. Even though i can be fully recovered but if will still act up once in a while.

And the doctor advice me to choose jobs which does not require long hours of standing if not it will worsen my situation. No running, no high heels.

Yes somehow i quit at the right time. Do not need to work for 3 days(mc) but still can get my pay.

Half hapy half sad though. Need to begin another hunt for new jobs and at the same time monitor my leg. lols.

2010-06-24T13:33:00.003+08:00

It only my 3rd day on my new job and now i decided to quit that job.
I am now resting at home becos i hurt both my ankles because of long hours of standing without walking.

Alot of factors added up making me wanting to quit the job even though wana was there.
Odd lunch hours is expected. Long standing hour is expected.
But i could not get use to the envoironment and most importantly i dun feel happy there.
So is dreading and stressing me whenever i know that i need to work there tml.
But standing for straight 12 - 14 hours a day is no kidding (include transport to the outlet then back home).
And yes, because yesterday i stood for more than 12 hours non stop without sitting down to rest at all, i feel like my leg, the ankle is gonna break apart because it couldnt support my own weight for 13hours.
I couldnt walk and stand yesterday night when i reach home. I am now feeling better but my ankles are still red and swollen. Yesterday was purple because the blood couldnt flow since i was standing and not walking.
And maybe is because of pms, i am getting so emotional that i cried almost everyday after i reach home after working.

With this i can really not get confuse anymore and say, i am really not suitable to be in the active side of the f&b industry. I belong to the quiet side of the f&b industry, staying and hiding in the labs doing experiments and analysis.

So i am now seeking for lab or admin jobs. 5 or 5.5 days a week with a pay of at least $1500. So anywho is reading my blog (i know there are not much), if u have lobang from ur friends or the company you are working at, pls do intro me to them and see whether if they need someone like me. Your help would be deeply appreciated.

And now i am waiting for rachelle to call me back to discuss about me quitting the job.
Hopefully i don't have to work for another week like what the contract says: 1 week notice.
And later i am gonna wash my chef uniform which is cover with tons of chocolate stains.

Employed!

2010-06-16T16:14:00.003+08:00

I am officially not jobless anymore! xD
Somehow moving on to the next phase of life roughly.

That company de job scope really is not what i desired so i take the job offer with the thought of learning while looking for other jobs.
Another reason is also because the job scope includes icing and decorating cakes and making truffles which is something that i want to learn.
And i am starting work on next Tues.
So..say goodbye to my weekends and public holidays. I will be working like from day to night from next tuesday onwards and only off days on Monday.

Hope that it will be a good experience there and i got a feeling that i would get along well with them.
And surprisingly there is also another bcs girl working there also.
I didnt know until they told me she just started working like yesterday.
Shall not reveal who she is here=P

This is my 400th post=)

2010-06-11T23:42:00.002+08:00

400th post liao. But i don't what to blog also haha.

So will blog some random things.

I am still jobless, have ask help from my sis and friends around me.
Discuss with my sis and she told me i should write down what i really want and don't take up jobs just because you are scare that you are slower then other people.
I am glad she is there to support and encourage me everytime when i am feeling stress and down.

Then I am glad that i had very mature friendship with most of my besties.
Even though i seldom meet up with them but i know that they are always wondering how am i doing=)
With this thought, i can really move on.
Thats why i really look down on childish friendship.
People who know me will understand what i mean by that.

So now i only can wait for good news.
Finding a job that can meet my criterea.
Hope to hear good news from my sister's hr department as well as hearing replies from the resume i send out.

Please pray for me to finding a good job whichever religion you belong. Haha=)!

Back to basic

2010-05-21T22:43:00.002+08:00

Went for an interview for a job today.
Finally get to understand the sentence: "Time to face reality and proceed to the next phase of life."

I think i done a fantastic interview today and they say the HR will contact me for a 2nd interview.
Don't know if i will be able to get that job but the company is very kind enough to provide me another placement if i couldnt get that job. So it is a win-win situation for me.

This just shows that our course is quite popular in the F&B industry and not in the food science industry. And thanks to Gardenia once again. Because of Gardenia it added lots of points for me.

If i could get that job really is a damn good opportunity for me to gain the skills and knowledge that i am seeking now.
But there are so many things to think about. Time and working hours, considering the fact i need to work past midnight. The effort i need to put in. The stress and challenge. It feels like i am back to being a first year bcs student, confuse and don't know whether if is this what i want.

Even though i just graduated but it feels like i am back to being a student again.

Now also can't worry much, need to wait for the call for the 2nd interview to decide everything.
Please pray hard for me that i could have a chance to get it so that i have a choice to accept or reject.

Graduation Day - 19th May 2010

2010-05-20T13:41:00.004+08:00

I am finally a Diploma Holder liao!

Today is a fantastic day since i get to see all of the J2.
Photo taking and walking up and down the stairs in my heels also make me super tired.

Thank my Dad who try to make some time for me to take part in my graduation ceremony and deliver comfortable home clothes for me so that i can go celebrate with my friend later at night.
And thank both my Dad again and mum who endure the boring opening speech for the graduation ceremony which they don't even understand and try their best to follow the names according to the Graduation book until it finally comes to my turn.

I personally feel that my graduation photos suxs because of my rebonded hair - flat head and flat sides. Making my chubby face even chubbier. And photo taking for me cannot take place in dark place since i would turn out to be ghostly because of my fair skin and rebonded hair. And i regretted not smiling big enough when i took photos which both chef gary, chef lau, jolene and elinn because i am afraid of my face being too big beside them.

Even though there are so so many regrets, but at the end of the day i still feel happy and proud of my big and chubby face. But i need to change my hair style la. I still prefer my wavy ends and middle top bun hair, i shall stick to that kind of hairstyle in the future=D

Understand myself more liao xD shall try to smile big big until my face become like onigiri xD And take more ugly photos to find out how to take pretty photos. That why i did my operation - to take nice and normal photos=)

Dinner at swensens @ T2 with 13 of my classmates. The guys are going NS soon. Even though i seldom talk to them but yes, still happy to see them alive and kicking. Same to the other girls=)

Went walk walk after dinner with huixin, nana, cheryl and jaime. I chatted lots with huixin and started to cry because i feel too emotional esp when i told her abt certain things. Try to encourage someone but ended up being encouraged. Thanks huixin~

After today and knowing how my classmates are doing, i somehow had a clear view of what i want to do for now. Firstly find a stable 9m to 5pm job then i want to pursue one of my dreams by taking courses in the weekends. Of course pay the school fees myself since it is not cheap at all.

Even though taking that sort of course wont get me anywhere and probably to just to realize my own wilful dream. But maybe in the future i may end up to be a translator. You never know what will happen in the future.

Giving myself 4 years to find out and go around to see see and look look what i really want to do.
Then target by age of 24 to take up management course and then finally start my real actual career.

Hopefully i will do that things i said on top since i always open empty cheque. That why must write down. I wonder how will the future me react when she saw this post she written in the past.

Tommorrow is the Day!

2010-05-18T16:32:00.003+08:00

Today went to do the one day packing job for Healthtrends @ A-Z Building. Both Donald and Ellyne are like late for 30mins. But they still promise my 30mins of pay. I totally didn't know that A-Z Building is an industrial building. So that means no aircon and nthg in this fucking hot weather. And i am not suppose to find and pack medicines, bottle caps and plastic bags, I am suppose to find furnitures and medical equipments in that big big warehouse aka one of healthtrends storeroom base on the list given to us.

I work with Ellyne finding and searching through the warehouse for different types of euipments. Both of us are pissed by the weather, stuffiness of the warehouse. And Ellyne at the same time is piss off with the incorrect info on the assets checklist which has been hindering our job. And she had been thinking whether to do this another day with a correct checklist. The warehouse is in a mess and everything from different clinics are dumped tgt. That warehouse is like another view of my Dad's factory.

We work until 12pm and went for lunch, with the thought of probably we should stop for the day. A-Z building have no food courts or kopitiam. So we have to walk like 2 bus stop distance to the nearby coffeeshop for lunch. Ellyne treated me drinks. We took our time and then go back to the building. We were somehow attracted to the NOVA furniture store because of the cold breeze of air coming out. So we went in just for air con. Ellyne is tyco. She can shop for furniture when she is working. I am glad i work with her today cos is less tedious.

Not long after, back into the building, she call her colleagues and complain abt the assets list. We finished up with whatever we could find and then left at 2.30pm. Ellyne again is kind enough to let me put 3pm for the timesheet, so an extra $3.50. And she paid me cash today=D

Tomorrow is Graduation Day. Finally~! I feel so not prepared at all. Tomorrow can get to see all of the J2s back in school. I miss them=)
Looking forward to tml!

Last week

2010-05-18T15:48:00.004+08:00

Like what i mention in the previous post i had a rather happy week last week=)
Partly is because i spend quite alot in kino, buying almost like 13 manga which i didn't buy since 10th March.

Tuesday
i meet up with hongyun and kummui last Tuesday for Korean food.
It has been since after attachment ended i have not seen kummui and then since the last gardenian outing at bedok market i have seen hongyun. Even though the others could not make it but i had lots of fun chit chatting with them. They said i slim down alot. Wahaha. The Korea bbq at fareast plaza really not bad.

And they told me they were bored after we left gardenia. I feel so touched=)

Wednesday
Thanks to Jaime who ask me to help her friend, Jovy from healthtrends to do some stock taking and unpacking @ Ghim moh clinic for one day. Then i can earn some extra cash and know that ghim moh actually have lots of nice food. And all the staff there at ghim moh are very friendly! The person who i think is the boss or something, Donald is very kind enough to help us carry and pack all the heavy stuff before we start unpacking the stocks. He even got drinks for us and turn on 2 air con and 2 fans because he is scare that we will feel hot.

Thursday
Even though i was told that i may need to go back to the clinic again to sort out some medicine but eventually i don't need to go. Good also cos i was tired from all the packing and cleaning up yesterday.
So i end up slacking at home the whole day while doing some vacuuming of the floor for my mum.
Healthtrends call me up and said that they wan me to help out to do some packing on next tuesday. Of course must go la. 9am to 5pm @ $7/hr. Happy again.
Then it appears that Dad's lawsuit is postponed again so he can't join us for the Japan trip and we decided to go to the agency tml to cancel his placement and make payment also.

Friday
Spend the whole day almost at Chinatown. Bro drove us down to Chinatown for the payment for the travel package. As usual, i don't want to curse him or what but I really feel that one day he will die because of car accident. Driving at a speed of almost 110km/hr and swirling left and right on the highway trying to get pass other cars with me and mum in his car. Sometimes i wonder if he really cares about the safety of his passengers.

I know that we need to pay different amt of money to the agency if we were to cancel a placement for travel at certain period of time before the actual travel (eg. like 8-14 days before travel pay how much, 15-25 days before travel pay how much).

I didn't know that we have to pay 50% of the travel package if we were to cancel Dad placement. Because cancellation made 8-14days before travel = 50% of tour package charges. Which means we have to pay around $1400 for cancellation of dad placements. Horror man! Even though we try telling them about the special reason why it needs to be cancelled the manager still say that is their policy. Sometimes i really feel that 11.11 really works. Because at the last min, we found out that we could get a guarantor to guarantee that my Dad can go overseas and come back before the lawsuit. We went back home to confirm about this then head back to the agency again next day to confirm all the payments.

And then i spend the whole afternoon shopping with my mum and going ntuc with her. As usual she couldn't find the shoes she wanted. That means is shopping with her again tml.

Saturday
I will be leaving for Japan on the 25th May ~ Yes and with my whole family!

Sis came with us today to go shopping with mum.
I love Chinatown esp the food. Xiao Long Bao, Guo Tie and chicken gizzard. Then i can also find authentic sichuan cuisine there. The chicken gizzard never fails to amaze me with its spicyness. Always bought the $4 pack of chicken gizzard when i went there. I bought it yesterday and can keep in fridge for quite long time. This is my 2nd time though since too much is not good for health.

Then after tat went Vivo to shop for mum's shoes. I am glad sis suggested we go vivo because of the Tangs sales. Mum bought 3 pairs of shoes. She is a happy woman and i am a happy girl cos shopping is tiring=)

Sunday
Meet yvonne for brunch at Macs. Mac finally had weekend breakfast extended till 12pm.
And today, yvonne become addicted to the chicken gizzard which i kindly gave her some.
Congrats lols.

To sum up, it is a fun and "outgoing" week for me.

This week

2010-05-15T23:02:00.002+08:00

I had a rather happy, fun and fufilling week considering the fact that i am jobless and staying at home most of the time and thinking about what's gonna happen to me in the future if i couldnt get a job.

I am going to blog about it all tml, the happy things, the good things, the lucky things and the people who i have to thank for giving me such a good week.

2010-05-07T21:27:00.002+08:00

One angry thing can make you whole happy day become very unhappy.

The reason i am blogging this is because if the whole thing abt that betrayal thingy is true, yeah that person would be reading my blog and probably from long long ago i have no privacy in anyways.

My rants, my anger are all known.

And today a certain person childish action towards me makes me feel that - yes that's it! i dun want to fight with someone who is ***** than me and fucking childish.

Even though i tell myself not to be piss off but eventually i will still be piss off by your actions and words.

Heart pain la, now heart pain is what i feel, from boths sides. I really want to clarify the matters but what is the point now? Betrayal from both sides is the worst, the worst feeling since i was born.

I talk bad, i complain but i don't and never betray.
Don't think anymore and don't think too much - It is not easy esp when everything reminds me of that.

One Piece and packing room

2010-04-26T18:08:00.004+08:00

I am watching One Piece and i am now at ep 349 and i started on 14th April from ep 1.

Freak man. One piece rocks and i totally fell in love with it!

I am looking forward to May because of outings with the gardenians and i also can meet some J2 friends.
And i am going to Japan on May too=) Regardless of whether the outcome is good or bad, i decided that i am going to enjoy the Japan trip regardless of whether it is 3 people or 4 people going.

I spend the whole afternoon cleaning up 1/3 of my room. Basically the shelves and lappy area. My 1/3 of the room, the area which i spend most of my time at is now very very spacious.. I am Left with 2/3 of the room. Aim to finish by this week=))

Uragiri

2010-04-26T18:04:00.003+08:00

Now that i know, i will be more caution.

This incident probably bring me up to another level and wake me up from my dreams.

Because i am resting and dreaming too much, my brain become retarded to allow this to happen.

Trusting people too much and giving them too much chances to change doesnt help if the person already had its peronality changed, twisted and fixed.

2010-04-22T23:03:00.003+08:00

I am facing a unknown feeling and unknown type of stress now.

Is like a mixture of confuse, fear, cowardliness, helpless and don't know what to do if not is no feeling at all.

What feeling should i have?

I feel so...dunno how to describe.

Stress on 2 things: myself and father's law case.

These 2 things that will make an impact on what is gonna happen to the plans made for the future.

And i am stress on what i could do to help to relieve the stress on my family.

And my feelings have been going up and down. From way happy until high to way sad until stress.

Am i gonna break any moment? probably i just need to get out of the house for a breather.
But who is gonna accompany me?

The future is so unpredictable, and i am beaten by this unpredictability.

Naruto and animefreak

2010-04-13T14:10:00.004+08:00

I am blogging about Naruto because of randomness.
Have been fascinated by Naruto these few days cos i watch the anime and was happy that it finally end it fillers and go back to the main story.

Then i was back to reading the manga online over again (only chpts 421 to 490) basically is i like that part of the story and also to catch up with the anime. I have watch Naruto since sec sch from the very first episodes until now. So i was amaze by the whole storyline from the first ep until now. so my PO is like: Wtf, did they plan the story outcome like few years back and predict something like that to happen in the story.

The whole storyline is wonderful and it gets better and better, i have poor vocab so i cant think of anything to describe also and i am tired also. I used to hate Naruto for a period of time because of their damn fillers. And now i am liking it again because of the lessons and the story learnt in the anime. There is a story behind a story and an even better story behind that story. The whole plot is thumbs up and gets better and better. Family, friends, brothership and many many more u can learn inside.

If i have the money, i might consider getting the whole set of manga because it is impossible to get the anime considering that it has few hundreds of episode. And i am glad that the anime is following up very closely to the manga=)

Comparing Naruto to Bleach, i sincerely think that Bleach is not even worth watching. And after Naruto, 2nd best would be Hitman Reborn, even though their storyline and plots were expected and predictable unlike Naruto. I want to try watching One Piece. But thinking about the fact that i need to load 400 plus anime episodes, i totally lost interest. Gintama, i cant say it suxs, it is just lame and a waste of time watching.

I got a feeling if Bleach and Gintama fans saw this post, they might start cyber bullying in my tagbox.

Oh ya and i LOVE April. Because is Summer, and sometimes i feel that good anime are only produced in April.
Kaichou wa Maid Sama, currently top on my list. Followed by Ikkitousen X.X, this anime should now be rated M18, cos they are showing the tits. I wonder if the producer would start remove their panties in season 5. But i still like the fighting part. Then there is Ichiban Ushiro no Daimaou, B Gata H Kei and Angel Beats. Don't really like the others, other then these.

Then i am following up on Fairy tail, Yumerio Patissiere, Nodame Cantibile Finale, Bleach, Naruto, KHR as usual. Kimi Ni Todoke just ended not long ago=(

I feel like an anime freak now. That's what happen when you stay at home for too long.

Anyways i am glad that i got to chat with Jiani today on msn finally.
Also happy to get some good Korean songs from her.
Hopefully this sat can meet them=)
She also said that she would cook anything i want to eat for me when i get better!
I must now train my tolerance for chilli just for that very day :)

no more mashed foods.

2010-04-10T21:33:00.002+08:00

I had my first chicken wing and curry puff from Old Chang Kee yesterday~~~!!!

I went to my ortho review yesterday (my braces doc).
He is definitely more pro than Dr Wong. He knows what happen to my teeth just by looking at it! He told me not to be scare of the alignment problem. The most important thing is to BITE. My upper jaw is actually straight in the past hence an operation has to be done to push it out and tilt it down so that my upper jaw can meet my lower jaw. Therefore he says that if i don't bite and don't practise biting and eating like normal in this 2mths, slowly it will move back straight and i will end up with an open bite.

So his advice:

Eat like a normal person, Speak like a normal person, laugh like a normal person and most importantly bite as hard as you can while eating so as to get used to your new bite. Secure your bite and bite it down.

And i change from penguin rubber bands to rabbit rubber bands. So those VVV and \\\ rubber bands are remove. And now 2 inverted V = A are used to secure my jaws. Definitely more comfortable and i suddenly feel like a normal person liao.

I am glad to see all the old staff who move from AH to KTP hospital. KTP Hospital is really good, the system and the spacious area, where the waiting area is like 4 times bigger then AH. Is totally the upgraded version of AH. As usual the service is excellent. I don't even have to worry that there is no space to sit down. And best is i can reach there in 1 hour by taking 39 to Yishun Interchange and then shuttle bus to the hospital.

I also had a proper dinner yesterday: With no more mashed or cut up foods. Less then half a bowl of rice with tomato scrambled eggs, chicken, veg and fries=) And i ate all those without mashing or cutting them up.

Today is 10/4/10, exactly 1 mth after my operation. And i think i am recovering super fast. 1 mth and i could start eating whatever i could eat. The only problem is my mouth cannot open so wide. I am still stuck at 1 and a half finger wide. And my upper jaw, the gum and moustache area is still totally numb. Thats all but is still a good recovery speed to me.

Today, i also had my first nasi lemak, those tradition chinese ones with taiwan sausage and luncheon meat for my lunch. And then Zi Char for dinner at 800plus coffeeshop.

To be able to eat is happiness. 能吃是福 =D

Too bad today really can't make it for the cycling at ecp with jaime and friends. Hopefully i will get to meet them real soon=)

2010-04-08T21:59:00.002+08:00

I am very bored.

Recently i got addicted to a Korean Variety show called : We Got Married! 我们结婚了!

I saw jiani intro-ing this show in her blog and decided to watch it to spice up my mundane life @ home. Super nice. It makes me wanna get married. I am almost finishing Season 1 of it.

Now my life is like wake up, newspaper, breakfast (one soft boiled egg), computer, lunch (usually half a bowl of beehoon or crushed up and cooked soup maggi mee), back to computer, bathe, dinner (usually less then half a bowl of rice with all those cut up veg and meat = half a bowl), computer again. 11pm start doing exercise mainly toning up then go to sleep.

*computer = PPS, FB, Job hunting.

Usually my snacks include milk (which is my main meal everyday during my recovery period), juice, soya bean milk, ice cream.

Same day repeats again for everyday.

Now my teeth is relieve from the pain i had after the \ \ \ rubberbands story and incident because i gotten use to it.

I have been doing simple toning up exercise everyday since 2 weeks ago. But my weight has been starting to regain back to its original reading. Slowly can see 1 kg in 3 days just because i started eating rice and bee hoon. WTH. I can't imagine what will happen after i fully recovered. Will i be overweight? Shit lor. But still thanks to those toning up exercise, my skin don't look so saggy and the fats doesn't shake while walking. Probably is a good sign but i can still see myself regaining back to the same shape, looking more big size as usual and less bony liao.

Really need to start hitting the gyms and maybe go swimming pool if i manage to buy a new swimming suit. My face look not so chubby also but still chubby. But now pple who know me, i think will be able to recognise me bah. Cos my face starting to look quite similar to my "old face" liao because the puffiness and swelling gone down alot. And after i "feel" my face today, i think it is fixed liao, the swelling has completely gone down liao. Only thing to correct is the lower jaw, the alignment and the opening of the mouth. Now if try to squeeze can open 2 finger wide le.

And tml i am going to see my ortho doctor @ the new KTP Hospital. Hopfully good news as to when i will remove my braces will be known=)

job hunting

2010-04-05T16:42:00.005+08:00

I guess sometimes doing up a good and pretty resume does really help in recruitment firm paying more attention to you and helping you to find good jobs. I decided to start hunting for jobs stating that i could only start in June. Both my sister and bestie encourages me to do that even though i felt that 2 mths are like so far away yet so near.

I send in 3 job application today and was piss off when 2 of them bounce back because their mailbox is full. And that 2 happen to be just nice from jobstreet and just nice also the ones which i prefer. I will probably try again tml, probably their mailbox just flooded in the weekends.

As efficient as in the past, Recruit express call like few hours after i send in my resume for a position as a food lab technician - the one which didn't get bounce back. The girl that was in charge of me, has good service i really hope she will do her part in helping me to find a job and call meee! since only being able to start work in June sound quite difficult. And being unable to speak clearly and pronounce words in my condition now also suxs (definitely she knows my condition). If i am able to start now i will definitely go for the job she introduce me.

i got 2mths for job hunting. and 2mths to think of what to do, whether to take up an advance dip or a part time degree while working.

the future sound so scary, i suddenly miss the carefree school life that had just ended.

worst pain - suan - numbness i ever had

2010-04-03T20:35:00.005+08:00

I guess i really overworked myself yesterday. I was aching from head to toe and i could barely open my eyes and get myself prepare to go for dental review. Thank god, my surgeon transfer to Raffles Hospital @ Bugis. It save me alot of travelling time and more time to sleep.

I went to Raffles Hospital to see my Surgeon for my dental review. This is the 3rd review le.
I am actually looking forward to this review because i can finally clear some doubts about my alignment of my teeth which have been slightly shifted and not align after my 2nd review. About my sleeping position, diet - is that the reasons for the shifting of my jaws. I am so damn worried for the past few days. Thanks god, those are not the reasons. But she did say that there might be a chance that it will shift by a little. What is important is how you look from the shape of your face and usually people won't notice how ur teeth is aligned by the center line.

My lower jaw is slightly shifted by 1.5mm to the right side. And because of that my surgeon remove my current V V V rubber bands securing my teeth and devise a new way of tying up my teeth. So basically my teeth now is being pull and tie 2mm to the left hand side to correct my position of the jaw back after the whole thing when all rubber bands are remove. So basically if u see me now. My lower jaw is all the way to the left and my face is slanted to the left. Me and my mum is basically laughing out loud from the way my whole face is slanted. And we didn't notice that until we got home. NO WONDER so many people are staring at me when i am on the way home...and going NTUC to buy things with my mum.

And all my stitches inside my mouth are remove. They so called cut into my flesh and remove out. The most pain dental experience i ever had. The wound is still bleeding when i leave the hospital.
This isn't the worst part of it. What comes next is the numbness, pain, suan-ness and the uncomfortness of your jaw being pull to one side by 3 rubberbands. The numbess is 4 times worser then the numbness i felt during the first time i did braces and 4 times the pain i did the operation to remove my wisdom tooth.

Previously my teeth is secure with 3 rubbers band in V V V format.
Now it is being tie up in \ \ \ format. Each \ with one rubberband stretching to at least 3 cm to 4 cm (stretch down hook to lower hook and up again to hook to upper hook) each tying up my upper and lower teeth. Just imagine using a 0.5cm diamter of rubberband to make such lengths, you can imagine the aftermath of intense throbbing pain and numbness and sourness i am facing now. And it is so tight that i couldn't even remove them for brushing. Except for the one in the middle, i remove it when i am eating. Only that can be remove as the other 2 are more inside my mouth and at the side. I got no choice but to use the tiny toothbrush and dip it in toothpaste and brush through each and every gap in my braces and rubberbands.

And next 2 weeks will be my last review!!!! As said by my surgeon that i am recovering very very well and i clean my teeth so good that she don't even need to do much. And what is left next is my braces. Then i am FREE! Now i am only left with struggling to open my mouth. Now only can open 1 and a half finger-wide.

But the numbness and pain is killing me. And all the goodies i bought yesterday and today, can't eat at all! So i am somehow back to liquid diet (fruit juice, porridge water and soya bean milk) with noodles and beehoon at most as they are the easiest to clean and be remove from my teeth as compared to rice and porridge.

I really need a sony ericssion cable to upload all the photos and pictures about my happening mouth and jaws. Any kind souls who have it and is willing to lend me, pls tell me. You can get a chance to be the 2nd friend to see my new face=)

chinatown - japan - easter service

2010-04-02T22:34:00.002+08:00

Went Chinatown Pearl Center with my mum and bro with one motive that is to get the best tour package for japan - Hokkaido!!!!

And yes=D I am going Hokkaido in Mayyyyy~

Spend like 4 hours in Chinatown. First get the pamphlet then head to the Chinatown market for lunch. I get to drink my all time favourite drunken herbal chicken soup. Shared with my dearest mum. Ate less then half a bowl of rice and unable to bite the chicken meat so end up eating the skin and drinking the soup. As usual the portion was so big that bro have to help us to eat the chicken meat. $6 for half a chicken herbal soup. The soup is also the real thing. Best.

Then sat down there to see the packages and start to eliminate one by one. Then after that go back to Pearl center and ask about the details and all that. Dad was on a plane to Thailand at this moment also.

We were so worried about the limited space for most of the packages. And finally after comparing the prices and places. We call dad who is still on the plane several times, obviously it didn't get through. And then we decide to go home first and wait for Dad's call. And basically is also because i was also rushing for CHC Easter Service.

Dad called while we were on the way home. We were like damn excited. Hearing the fact that there were limited spaces. Dad tell us to book and faster put a deposit. And YAY!

Told mum to called the travel agency guy to reserve first then go down to place deposit later at night.

Then i rush to CHC Easter Service.

Easter service is great. I don't know how to describe it.
I am touched by the fact that my sister's whole cellgroup actually accommodate to the timing i wanted for the service and everyone of them that i know were present and feel happy to see me so good. I am really regretted not buying Easter chocolates for them to express my thanks since i was rushing to and fro. I couldn't even bake things for them since everything about CHC is not known by my mum.

Thanks yvonne for allowing me to use her for my lies. A date with yvonne= A date with my sis.

Then i had a mini chat with my sis.
About the "funny ideas about me" mum was telling about sis during my operation. I can't imagine until now she still doesn't trust me and neither the path i chosen for my future which is Food Science. What is worse is that she actually told sis to come and "advise" me. Of course my sis won't do that because she think that my choice is correct and currently the best one for the me who can't make it for uni food science course which i don't even want to go also.

After that i started pouring out my stress to my sis about my bro, mum, religion, future and how tired i am feeling about a home and parents whom wants you to do things by their way.

I was on the verge of crying when the service finally starts. Then the songs they sang make me feel like crying. I could actually feel the strong faith in the whole expo hall. The feeling of calmness in my heart. But i am just not ready to accept this. Considering the excuses and lies i have to tell just to go for services and the stress given to me by mum and dad. I am still not ready to face all of this yet.

Overall the drama is great. Very real. I were shock about each and every detail of the drama about how Jesus die on the cross. They make the whole scene of the hammering of the nails onto Jesus so real as there is like red liquid flowing out lor.

I didn't join my sis and her cell group for dinner. Basically is my teeth and i also felt uncomfortable eating with people i don't really know and are older then me. They are mostly married if not have a stable career. I end up going back home on my own. Roaming about in Expo in the mph sale and john little sale.

I was so tired since i spend the whole day out and i have not had dinner yet (which is mostly a packet of milk). Yet i still travel back to TM. And i end up buying lots of stuff and goodies. Puddings, Wang Zai Milk, Vitasoy, Black soy bean milk, KOKA no msg cup noodles and my dinner - Magnolia GO! I bought too much to the fact that i am staggering home. Plus because i lost alot of weight during this period of time. My jeans is dropping out on me, it was damn loose. I could easily grab 2 inches or more out of my jeans. in the hip, thigh and waist area. So you can imagine how pathetic i look with very droppy jeans and a pale and hungry face. I have to even call my mum to help me carry the groceries after i alight at safra bus stop.

Then back at home i was so called "reprimanded" by my mum for trying to do so much things in one day and not taking care of myself. I knew she was really worried for me.

I feel so LOVED and touched this Easter. Definitely a special meaning of Easter Day for me.

People

2010-04-01T21:57:00.004+08:00

I wonder how big the monster in him would grew in the up coming years to go.

Definitely, childhood, environment, family, school and friends could really change someone esp from the start of childhood. One person who hasn't been given care, love and concern since childhood would grew up to be a person with a changed and twisted personality.

I feel so stupid that i never really notice until people came to tell me. I should have notice it but just that i didn't think about it.

But imagining that he is your cousin. You can't help but to trust him right? And all you want to do is to give him the utmost care and concern which he is missing out for the past years.

I don't want to put all those negative thoughts in me. But i still can't help it because it is true.

I guess i shall be really careful from now on.

A certain someone pissed me off today. After so long and the 1st thing is your xxxx thing.
I don't know what to say, and O-ing a xxxxxx when you knew i couldnt bloodly hell xxx. You are worse then everyone and anyone one i knew. My gosh, you are fcukingly so self centered.

Gardenians

2010-03-30T22:13:00.003+08:00

I really love them lots.

I have known them less then a year but i feel like i have known them for several years.

And at this point i really feel touched by them.

They make me feel that i am important and are part of their lifes.

I am really glad i got into gardenia and i get to be friends with such wonderful people=)

Happy day out

2010-03-28T18:25:00.002+08:00

I finally went out today!!!

First went to get my hair dyed back to black with my mum @ at herbal, modern aunties salon.
They never fail to disappoint me with their service. And they blow my hair very nicely and gentle=) Herbal is good for hair at least i know my hair wasn't damage by those chemicals.

I love my black hairrrrr~~~~!!!

Then i met yvonne to go tm to get some things. I appreciated that she still came to meet me after her class. Since i really need some help from people when i buy stuff because with rubber bands tying up my teeth, i can't pronounce clearly.

We catch up quite alot yesterday night on the phone and today also catch up abit. Congrats her that she found a job. Today is the first time she saw me after my op ma, she was so shock by my "new face" and keep staring at me for the first 1st hour when we met. She said i look like a totally different person, for the better. She even took at picture of me, one normal and one close up de to show her mum who is also wondering how am i doing.

She pass me the things she bought in Laos. Wah more then i expected. I like the key chain since it is made of fake money. Good sign because it is MONEY!

I bought lots of my favvv stuff today. Four Leaves creme caramel also known as pudding. Intro by jiayin and i now love it alot. Yvonne bought that for me! Unbelievable but it is the truth.

Then i went ntuc to get some instant Campbell mushroom and chicken soup. Looking at the fact that there is no added msg and there is calcium, iron and vitamin B1 B2 and B3 which is what i need now. Also bought my first pack of chocolate milk after so long: Magnolia GO! surprisingly it doesn't irritate my throat, and it is not to sweet nor milky. I shall support Magnolia from now on.

Then i went to Popeye's to tabao Mash Potatoes. My fav mash=) This is the part where i need her help because at this stage i couldn't clearly pronounce POTATOES. pathetic me. I bought a large one. And i think that could last me three meals. Then went to get things from Watsons.

We headed back home. Otw yvonne got surprising call from jiani. I hope she doesn't read this post but lols nvm. I will rmb that call. Jiani thanks for your concern, feel free to sms me or msn me. I would feel even happier if you could direct ur concerns to me. And don't worry we didn't forget ur birthday=)

I like my minutemen, meatpuppet bag. Even though it doesn't look at well made like in the picture. I shall forgive that because it is big and A4 enough to put all my things=) and i could sling it!

Stalking

2010-03-26T15:08:00.003+08:00

Today i can't imagine i actually spend most of the whole morning stalking my just-found primary school friends' facebook.

Jordan, Felina, Pei Pei which i just added and many other not so close primary school friends which i didn't add in facebook and those quite close de but don't know if them remeber me anot.

Facebook is really amazing.

Then i also found out many many of them actually are in contact with each other like few years ago. Some were even in the same Secondary schools. This is what happen when you don't have handphones in the past and you get to found each other using facebook now.

And the girls turn really pretty basically the same clique (wearing make up, glamourous, open minded and clubbing) and the guys turns out to be quite handsome.

And i am still the same old me=) Even though their lifes are really colourful and something i may wanted. But i still prefer the same old me since i don't like make-up nor clubbing.

But i still love them la. Afterall primay school is one of my best memories in life. Without them there is no me.

Minutemen Meatpuppets Descendents Angst

2010-03-25T15:05:00.002+08:00

I bought a bag from Smile with these words on it.
I am suppose to collect it this sunday, but no one free to accompany me to get the bag=(
So i should be postponing the colection to next sunday.
But i want to see the bag sooner!!!

ah ah, what should i do? Should i go myself or postpone to next sunday =X

Post Op Day 15

2010-03-25T12:27:00.005+08:00

I am still unable to open my mouth.
At most only can open to one finger wide. Any wider will mean pain for me.
On the first thought when i remove the splinter, i sincerely believe i could actualy start eating mash up food. But eating that is giving me quite a lots of troubles especially when brushing my teeth, cleaning up my teeth. So i end up returning to liquid food. I am going depress from staying at home all day,

the boredness is killing me.
the loneliness is killing me.
the neck pain from sleeping only at one position for so many days is killing me.
the tiredness is killing me.
the fact that i couldnt fall asleep is killing me.
the jealousy is killing me.
the fact that people couldn't understand me is killing me.
the sadness in me is killing me.
the fact that i need accompany to go out is also killing me.

I am so bored staying at home all day. No one to talk to except my mum and dad.
Friends are all so busy with their stuffs that you actually feel that they don't have time to bother about you and you also wouldnt want to trouble them with all ur troubles. At this point of time i really feel that i am so so unpopular with people. I am really jealous of people who always have friends around them. Maybe this just shows that i didn't work hard in the past to care for the people around me and now this is my retribution.

I am jealous of people who could actually devote to faith and religion. For me until now, i couldnt find something which is suitable for me, something which i could devote in. In times you will feel that you have nothing to rely on. People with faith often have stronger self and they will be able to fight with the evil and overcome fear. For me i rely on people giving me their faith to fight the evil and overcome the fear in me.

"So here i will have to thanks my sister and her husband and her CHC friends for the cards and gifts, messages, blessings and their prayers. Same things applies to my auntie whom i know is also praying for me. Then Kum mui and the gardenians who are also praying for me, i am glad that i had my attachment there and know you lovely people. Lastly my family esp my mum and dad who spend almost the whole night taking care of me during the crucial period of Post op day 3 and 4 and until now. Even though you all don't know this blog. But you people are the people who help me go through the first difficult and crucial week of my post operation."

Going through this operation let me learn lots of lessons. With a new face, i really want to make a change in my life as well as myself in the future.

i really feel better now after writing all these stuff here. The new blogskin also looks very pleasing=) I change that in 10 mins. Fastest record for now. Praise me xD

I haven been uploading photos because i lost my hp cable, cannot transfer it out. Bluetooth doesnt work for my laptop also. Will upload all up when i am able to transfer the photos out.

Post Op Day 12

2010-03-22T21:29:00.002+08:00

I went for my 2nd review with my surgeon today.
Up to almost 2 weeks after operation le, now i am feeling much more better, confident and optimistic about myself. One reason for that is definitely because of my appearance.
I still look "round" at the cheeks but the shape of my face slowly takes shape. And i am somehow happy with it because i look more approachable now as compare to the past with a narrow and long chin.

I am somehow fell in love with the chubby cheeks i have now as it reflects a shade of pink because i am quite white. I am not trying to be bhb but i really love the new me now. Now i can finally put down my anxiety and worries. The only thing to do is to slim down my double chin and maintain my current weight. I lost up to 6 kg people !!! And i hope i can maintain it by exercising after my full recovery. Since i am now on liquid diet so it is obvious to lose so much weight. But the doctor encourages me to exercise on a whole to lose total body weight to slim down my double chin.

Today is the best review ever because Doctor remove the splinter that is tying up my whole jaw inside my month. I finally can let out and breath properly. The stitches at my upper and lower jaw is also remove. Now my jaws or you can call my teeth are now stabilize with 3 rubber band hooking up and down of my braces.

I was too happy that i forget to ask the doc about the diet and removing of rubber bands during eating. End up today for dinner i had water porridge and end up swallowing the grains cos i cant chew by just on removing the center rubber band.

Tommorrow will be a better day=) i will get use to everything fast.

Post Op Day 10

2010-03-19T21:19:00.003+08:00

A post before this post is save to record down my previous post op days. I will post it up when i complete it. After all it is a tiring one.

Went for my dental appointment to see Doctor Yong today. Dad was unable to drive me to AH because he needs to go JB. So ended up taking bus and mrt all the way to AH with the accompany of my Mum. And yes, with my swollen up face too. It is a damn tiring and giddy day. Never felt so tired before.

Dr Yong return me back my moulds of my teeth. AH Dental is moving to KTP hospital @ Yishun and my next appt would be all the way at Yishun. Great, at least now i could take bus 39 there.
And he told me to go lose weight (for the double chin) and rebond my hair (becos it is messy) to look more pretty. This should be the first time and last time i hear him saying that. And that should be his image of me for the past 3 years. OMG, now then i now.

My face now really looks very round, short and chubby in a way. I am actually very very worried and fear that it will forever remain like this. No one can understand the anxiety and fear inside me when i woke up every morning and i don't feel like i am me. The shape of my face changes alot alot. From a narrow long face to a short, round and chubby face. And my double chin starts to appear and i look like someone with no neck. I really didnt expect the changes to be so huge. And i understand that it is only 1 week, so swelling will still be there.

The only thing that encourages me to go on is food. The fact that i could eat a burger in a normal way is something that i wish for a long time.

Now i really feel difficult to move on especially when you can't talk, you feel hungry all day. And lastly is i feel that no one is there for me except for my family members, the gardenians and my sister friends from CHC. Friends, i really don't whether if they really care. I am disappointed with the fact that most of them are not there for me when i need them most. Not even an sms or some encouragements.

Where are u all when i need you all the most?

It has also been a long long time since i watch TV. And i am spending more time with TV then com during these days because i feel tired and giddy when i sit in front of the com.

I probably gonna spend more time with TV the my com for now.

Please give me courage to move on. I had to even if i don't want.

Day of Sugery (10/3) till Day i was discharge(12/3)

2010-03-17T13:21:00.004+08:00

On 9/3/10 meet up with the anaesthetist and did the blood test and all that. Cost of operation is around $3445 but with almost half of the cost subsidise by Medisave so is around $1000++

Double Jaw Surgery done on 10/3/10 @ Alexandra Hospital.

I report to AH at 7.30am sharp at the Day Ward for preparation for my surgery=) Dad drove me there with Mum. Fill up some forms, make deposit on surgery payments then change to my surgery attire. Then after that waited at my bed for further instructions. Mum was with me all along and then sis and her husband also came to gave me support=)

Waited and waited until around 8.30am the nurses came and brought me to the another ward at lvl 3 to prepare for the surgery, my surgeon and few of the nurses or trainee doctors were all there somehow welcoming me and my mum and sis. Change into AH slippers. But again have to wait. One thing good about AH is their service standard and their care for patients and people going there for surgeries and operation. Throughout the waiting time, they will always come by and ask you whether if u are cold or u nee anything and tell you not to be nervous. Mum and sis were told to leave the ward at around 8.50am. So i was alone waiting outside the surgery room.

I was lucky also! Even though waiting time was long but it just happen that the Prime Minister Father in Law is also doing an operation to remove eye cataracts. So the PM father in law is actually beside me and both of us were waiting for our operation=P
Of course he is treated almost like a VIP becos there are like 5 to 6 people surrounding him all the time and everyone was approaching him to shake hands with him.

9.30am i was bought into the surgery room, the atmosphere is very tense inside. Masked people and blue and green coat. And people will start to into themselves to you like: " Hi my name is so and so i will be putting you to sleep." As soon as got on the surgery bed, they strip me and cover me with a green surgery blanket. Then many people start to give me injections, poke needles into me. And then i was put to sleep.

I woke up knowing i am in the ICU or what they call High Dependency Ward. By that time i can actually gain my senses is was around night time. I don't rmb what happen in the afternoon or evening at all. All i know is that i am sweating like hell, and i have tubes all over me. Then there is this automatic blood pressure measuring device which wil squeeze my arms once every hour. IV drip etc. Practically i have been having fever and then force fed pain killer panadol into my mouth in a syringe. And throughout the night i only know that i have been vomiting blood through my mouth and nose or whatever so the call bell is always with me whenever i feel like vomiting. They will do suction for me and clean me up when i vomit. That period of time is totally chaos and terrible for me. I also had two small bottle hanging out from my nose to collect my bleeding. Then there is also a tube connected way into my stomach to let out gas in the stomach. I could vaguely rmb whether if my parents and sis were through a not. I was blur at that time.

Slowly my condition stabilise and then it was morning. 11/3/10. then nurses wipe me down, clean me up, powder me and arrange for me to change to general ward B2 ( 6 bedded ventilated ward). I was also taught how to feed myself with a syringe. And basically breakfast was clear soup, apple juice and ribena. But i cannot and have not appetite to have any of those. So my breakfast was transported to my general ward bed 9 while i make my way in a wheelchair feeling very very giddy to see my dental surgeon. Dr Eugene which is my assistant surgeon see me instead of Dr Wong. He help me clean up my wound remove the tubes on me and stuff like that explain to me about certain things like medicine and my stay in the hospital.

Afterwards i went back to the ward again. Lay down in the bed feeling very very giddy. Mum and sis were also there already. I fed on the leftover ribena and apple juice throughout the day until evening the same thing is served to me again. Actually was suppose to be discharge from the hospital today but because i am still feeling very giddy so the doctors let me stay for the night just in case i fell down at home. My nose is all block so i also had difficulty breathing and a nose drip has to be constantly use. Medicine were injected into me. My face is so swollen up that i don't dare to even wear my specs to look at myself. I look totally different unlike me at all. My mouth and teeth is completely tied up, my tongue is inside my teeth. So i basically have to communicate using pen and paper. The night is very long for me. Mum and sis left at 2pm. They promise to come see me again with Dad at night but i waited and waited until night time visiting hours but they were not there. Then i gave up hope also. Hopefully tomorrow i can discharge from hospital asap. I couldn't sleep at all for the whole night. There were loud visitors the whole night until 12am even though it was past the visiting hours. The lights and on and off the night in my ward because of other patients. And i was constantly woke up by the nurse to take medicine, blood pressure as well as to gargle my mouth.

12/3/10 : The morning came. Waited and waited for my doctor for any news to be discharge. i was served the same thing for breakfast. At around 10plus, Dr Wong came to see me and say that i could be discharge, so they call my family to ask them to pick me up. And i finally can go home. Mum and sis came. Help me collect my medicine which are all in tablet forms - antibiotics, medicine for swelling, pain killers and my medication leave cert of 26 days. Which all have to be crushed and taken using the syringe and which all are also very bitter. Oh god. Then i change to home clothes, sat on a wheelchair and wheel down to wait for my Dad to come fetch me.

Finally sat down in the car and reached home=)

Back from Operation=)

2010-03-15T11:40:00.003+08:00

I am back from operation=))
Somehow can sit down in front of the com to blog a bit but i am still feeling a bit drowsy.
Now i cannot focus on the com screen becos staring too long at it makes me feel giddy.

Shall update on the start of my after operation until i fully recover when i am feeling much better in probably like in a few days time=) And probably change the blogskin or font size to make it larger.

Thanks for all those who has been encouraging me all the time will update here again when feeling better=)

Tomorrow is the Day

2010-03-09T22:51:00.003+08:00

Yup tomorrow is the day.
And i have to reach the hospital by 7.30am. The operation should commence in 2 hours time considering the preparations that have to be done.

My current mood is nervous, even though i am suppose to sleep early but i feel like spending the whole night with my laptop. Have done blood test and financial discussion on hospital stay during my trip to AH. As usually my hand bruises because of the blood test. In similar situation as the autologous blood donation on 25th Feb. And similarly, each trip to AH always cost several bucks.

And i filled myself with food today because starting from midnight, i cannot have any food or drinks. I am happy at the fact that i get to eat several of my so-called likeable food like: Pasta at pastamania and newyork newyork, Donuts from both J.Co and Donut factory, all the bbq chicken wings, stingrays, carrot cake, oh jian, bak chong mee from Bedok 85 market. Then got cheesecake, egg tart, curry naan, chicken floss bread, double cheese burger, good mashed potato...etc and the list goes on. Even though they are not great things but each of them is eaten wih happiness with friends, family and the gardenians.

I really appreciate those who remember and gave me encouragements to my operation. And those who are praying for my success tomorrow.

Now abit panicking because i don't know if there is a need to bring your own personal stuff that you need to use. And then i decided not to bring but i prepare just in case so that my mum could bring it down for me if needed.

Signing off, may everything be a success tomorrow.

2 days before operation

2010-03-08T22:19:00.002+08:00

I am always motivated to blog when i read someone's blog.
Don't know from since when i had this habit - the urge to blog after reading someone's blog.

Probably i was fascinated by the usage of the vocabulary, the flow of each of the sentence structure and paragraphs. And sometimes i just want to keep memories of now so that i can reminisce in the future. Now i regretted not blogging in the months where i was feeling lonely and depress. The more you feel depress, the more you should vent it out and maybe in the future while looking back, you might learn something from it. So i decided i should do that starting from now.

At least one post per week. That's my aim now.

If i am a JC student. If i spend more time on English books rather than Chinese books would my English be better than now? Definitely. But i don't regret choosing Chinese. My pronunciation for both languages is actually getting worse. Because i seldom speak and also the gap in between my teeth is getting wider and wider after i put on braces. For no reason, i feel that i could not pronounce as good as before. Because of this reason i tend to speak more in Mandarin which i felt is more comfortable for myself.

Really need to buck up on English. And i need to make plans for the future.
2 more days to my jaw operation and actually is less then 2 days. And i am not even 50% prepare for it. I am not prepare for the fact that i will be on liquid and soft diet for 1 mth and 2 mths to be able to start eating normal food and 4mths to 6mths to total swell down of my lower face area. That's why i have been eating most of my favourite food these past few days in preparation for the whole thing.

I am starting to plan what i will be doing for the addition mths where i have not fully recover.
I decided to focus more on improving my English language - by reading books and blogging more often with use of more advance vocabs. After the operation, the gap in my mouth would also be gone too, therefore is a good time to make improvements to myself.
Then take up some course - regardless of yoga, pilates, aerobics, language classes during my swell down period.

In less than 2 days before operation, i also had 2 ulcers in my mouth =_=...
Tomorrow i will need to visit the hospital again to see the anesthetist, discuss the cost and the ward i am going to stay in for the 3 days.

Wish me speedy recovery and all the best in the operation.
I am gonna update on my Jaw Operation and everything in here too after i am discharge from the hospital. This is something which i definitely want to remember in the future.

Anyway my bestie is in Laos now. I am glad because one person less is gonna see the ugly me after operation. But all the best to her, hopefully she wouldn't be scared off by the creepy crawlies and insects there=)

At home

2010-02-22T11:53:00.004+08:00

Chinese New Year is great cause u can get angpow and that means money=)

Have been watching old anime and drama.
Because school has ended, and i will be having an operation in March so it is also hard for me to find a job at this point of time.

And now all i can do is to edit my resume, wait for results, slack at home then wait till operation day

I am bored. And i think i gonna spend a fortune on 2nd hand comics again.

I am aiming for basketball comics particularly Slam Dunk, Dear Boys Act I and Act II.

And i have deal on both Dear boys Act I and II now only left Slam Dunk. It is extremely to find a good condition CY old version of Slam Dunk. Esp when u don't mind it being yellow but u don't want any tears or vandalism done on the comics itself. And apparently many of the people are trying to sell this sort of condition of the comic to me (with tears, staple and vandalism).

I even email to comics connection on their enquiry webpage.
And today i was surprise that they actually replied my email and offer to help me check their outlets if there are still any stocks for CY Old version of Slam Dunk. Really really hope they could find one set no matter what. Even though chance are like only 10%. But i appreciate their effort to help me do that. Normal pple would usually ignore this sort of request.

I will be going for a blood donation this Thursday. I am super scare now. Imagine donating ur own blood for urself. Hopefully nthg goes wrong that day.

Pray for me.

End of School Life

2010-02-10T18:31:00.003+08:00

2 more days till the end of my poly life.

This week is quite a rush esp monday, my group was rushing and printing our Final report. We even cut the queue at printing room and got bitch by some year 1 food science students.
Seriously don't understand why people at stuck at the door of the printing room when there is plenty of space infront for u to go in, just move and squeeze in or u will never get ur thing printed...

This friday is the last presentation we will be doing in TP lecture hall.
And my group is the lucky number 1~!

Lucky or unlucky, i am gonna by all means try to be serious that day as much as possible and fully concentarte myself in the whole presentation.

I am soft so i really hope i can voice out loud for my presentation that day.
Oh my please pray hard for me!!!

I went out for a movie with classmates: Aloy, jiayin, martin, crystal and andy.

They are the usual clique which i hang out with very often in year 1 and year 2 but nv did in year 3. So i was quite of happy today.

We watch Tooth Fairy. Really very nice. Just like what my cousin says.
Some how teaches you some lessons like:

1) Is important to have dreams.
2) Being able to imagine and believe in dreams something that is fantastic and shouldnt be destroy.

The whole story was kind of cute, funny and touching to a certain extent.
The Rock looks very cute in his wings. His wrinkles on his face also should how much he has age through the years though.

On whole, it is a good movie and good day today=D

Back after 1 month

2010-02-01T21:04:00.003+08:00

Ohoh,

i am back to here again.
Don't really wanna elaborate on what happen past few weeks and months.

Just feel like coming back here again to blog after locking up for the whole of 1 mth=D

I think about lots of things before sleeping...
Sometimes i wanted to put the my thought into the blog but when i am here blogging, i dunno want to write or blog about.

My school is ending in 2 less than weeks time.
Alot of things worries me also.
The stress of looking for a job after graduation and whether to further studies anot.
I am so not prepare for all these things.

I am currently on my FYP. But i am not really enjoying it.
i wish it would end asap.
Yeah, it would end in 2 weeks time.

Alot of things have change, including people.
They really change. Maybe i like them in the past but now i don't really like them anymore.
Inconsideration, insensitive to things and people ard them, i somewhat have enough of them.

Anyways i now really believe in horoscope.
People born on the same day and mth with the same horoscope, are kind of very alike in their personality.
This is with analysis from jiayin. I believe in horoscope to a certain extent in the past but now i believe it even more.

I also did my last NAPFA test last week. Body aches like hell for like 5 days.
Weakest days of my life is during that period of time.
Well my body is also weak, getting weaker and weaker. I also dunno why. Really need to strengthen and go for checkups.
My memory also failing me....poor me.

I got very very happy receiving an sms from someone. Judging from the content of the sms, normal people will feel that is a common thing and for some it may be a nuisance. But i dunno why, it is the first time i feel so happy as it was kind of the first time i received that kind of sms.

Probably life is turning better for me.
And everything would changes lots after 10th march.

Christmas 2009 =D

2009-12-26T10:18:00.004+08:00

This year's Chritmas is one of the best i ever had=D

I spend lots of money this year christmas buying git for each and everyone who have care and help me lots.

And also the first time i have bought christmas present for my dearest sister=)

My home doesn't celebrate Christmas ma.

But this year i spend the eve with my dearest friends cum colleagues for a mini Christmas exchange and mini party with a turkey, ice cream from ice cream chef, sparkling juice and jellies and puddings make by suann and lijun.

Then at night i watch a nice Christmas drama from CHC with my cousin, my sister and her cellgroups. Very surprise that her cellgroups even got presents for me even though i seldom see them. Glad to know a bunch a caring and nice people.

And i spend Christmas with my dearest mum=) Went shopping with her the whole day together and also with my sister who just finish her church service.

This Christmas there is alot of first time for me.

Yup and actually doing Christmas shopping alone is another fun.

But this year it too bad that i can't celebrated with my other friends. Apparently they are all not free and held up by attachment or have other plans.

Regardless or what this year is still one of the best Chrismas i ever had=)

Christmas planning=)

2009-12-11T15:01:00.001+08:00

Friday is another relaxing day.
Because our lab new moisture analyzer machines just arrive and i don't need to go down to QC to do moisture anymore=) Finaly can stay at out own lab to do moisture and at the same time chit chat with them.

Hongyun took leave on yesterday and today. Suddenly become very quiet but she still miss out all the fun we have la. We are now planning for christmas=)
Because by chance we saw a Memo in QC lab that they are having turkey for Christmas. So of course we cannot lose to them la! Suann, leejuen and me start to discuss what we gonna eat for christmas celebration on 24th dec.
Another very hilarious day of laughter and we even call hongyun to disturb her. Hahaha.
Dr Ng also approved our party for christmas celebration with kummui teling him.

So happy and looking forward to it~
Anyway i gotten new specs for myself. My eyesight degree didn't increase at all but my "Shan Guang" dunno if they call it myopia or what increase to 150 per eye. Kena scolded by the person who measure my eyesight for not taking care of my eyes properly. And i just collected my new specs yesterday.
New specs given a lot of problems to me. Becuase of my shang guang, i took longer time to get use to it, and it make me giddy for the whole day.

Anyways was suppose to go JB with leejuen and lijun this weekends but in the end Dad suddenly say need to go Meleka this weekends so no choice but to postpone to next week.

Hopefully tml at Meleka would be a good time to relax=)

2009-12-05T14:38:00.000+08:00

One month since i update my blog~!
Longest record. But i not having an emo life anyway.
I am almost having fun everyday until i am tired to update.
I really love gardenia and the people there.

Now is only left around one month to end of attachments. In this short period of 4 months of attachment, i am super glad that i make good friends with my colleagues.

I really gonna miss gardenia after end of attachment~ And people like Lijun, Hongyun, Suann and Kummui including auntie leong and auntie gek eng and of course Beehong whom i don't really like but also give me lots of unexpected happenings in life.

Now still enjoying the days i spend with lijun, leejuen, hongyun, suann and kummui.
Going singing K, and eating at different places on fridays=D

Anyways i finally bought another WD harddisk at IT fair with hongyun, leejuen and lijun. 500GB of strage space. Super cool man. Come with file corruption scanner and smartwave program for easy tranfer of files.

And with this money also gone liao. But worth it la~ WD drive is still the coolest~!

para-para-paranoid

2009-11-01T23:20:00.003+08:00

It has been a very very very long ime since i update this blog.
Really wonder if anyone is still reading it.

These few days really somehow stress up with attachment.
I am enjoying my attachment but at the same time super tired day after day.
I have almost like 1 report every week and sometimes it can get to 3 per week.

AHHH i am so so tired.

I really feel that i learn to be way way more independent as compared to the past.
But sometimes you just need someone, or a friend to listen to your worries and problems.
And sometimes you really need someone or a friend to accompany you to go out shopping or have a simple lunch or dinner.

But is too bad that my friends are all really busy with their own things.
So my life has to go on without them sometimes.
This is one of the part of my life that makes me really very depress at some point of my life.
Don't know whether if my migraine is affecting me which makes me sum up a rather depressing post this week.

I feel very paranoid about lots of things.

And i realized working life is diffcult esp you have to pay for all the things yourself.
For your hair, your skincare, your spectacles and various things.

Then you start to worry about your future...
And i hardly see any R&D job in the papers these past weeks until today then saw one Nestle Lab Techician job.

I really need to start to think about the future.

Anyway put aside the depressing stuff.

I rebonded my hair=)
Although the rebonding and colouring isnt done very well...erm partly is because of my hair condition also and the skill of that person. But i am semi happy with the results even though i have to do a proper one again to last longer.

Hopefully i will go rebonding for the 2nd time and get a better hair cut before i go back school for the SIP thingy=)
I like my hairstyle now and i am starting to take super good care of it=D

I miss everyone sia.
Hopefully will see everyone soon esp jiayin and crystal=)

weekends

2009-10-02T21:16:00.004+08:00

The view outside my lab, it looks way nicer than this photo anyway.

Finally the end of my 3rd week of attachment.

william and lia is leaving next friday=d i am so gonna miss them.

I haven been doing much this week at labs.
Everyday is sorting, sorting and more sorting of herbs.
But at least i get to make custard buns which is something to be happy about, but at the same time i have to submit a full report on it.
And today i sorted herbs the whole day with william.
eye pain, back pain, shoulder pain. and my white uniform is all green.

I really hope i can do baking everyday like leejuen.
But is just too bad my boss is currently under project on creams and not buns.

Thats why my assignments is all about creams. =_= Even though i didnt do much in labs.
.
But my lab reports is piling up.
Creams are killing me.
I can't find anything on cream making machines which is better than normal mixer. And this is my topic or my reflections this week.
My shelf life report, main report and sensory evalation on custards buns are only half way through =_=

And we have to finish sorting 3 kg of leeks by next friday.

Hopefully i hope the project she just started on loafs could last long so that i can do lots of baking.

I am going Meleka tml until sunday, then i gonna rush straight to shasha hse. And then back to home to rush my reflections. i hope everythings works well.

today i saw you, confirm 80% is you.
you are the one who is staring at me until i notice you
and you hide and acted as if you do not know me.
wtf wtf wtf
And then you still continue to stare at me and still acting as if u don't me at all.
Are you that desperate to pushed away all ur secondary school friends?
If thats the case don't stare at me in the first place.

Gardenia's banana and walnut loaf is nice nice nice >.<

life nya~

Work

Moody

Message to someone whom I can't say it to her straight

not enough

Promotion

Deliverance

don't despise your gift and talent!

cherishing now

A New Day

hate spammers

Moody

first step

2010

16/Randomnessssss

Satisfaction

and then it ends with a goal

Tomorrow

Frustration

Weekends

Randomness

Decisions

Limit

One Piece

Meaningful Weekend

Foursome

Anime Endings

happy day!

Emotions in control but still angry

Ups and downs

Working Life

Recent Days

Stupid me

Barcodes, headaches cold and runny nose

Entertaining

Starhub

Butterflies again

PIN

Thinking too too much

Officially Employed again=)

Butterflies and Moths

Park Yong Ha

Recovered

Gastric pain

Bad news/Good news

Employed!

This is my 400th post=)

Back to basic

Graduation Day - 19th May 2010

Tommorrow is the Day!

Last week

This week

One Piece and packing room

Uragiri

Naruto and animefreak

no more mashed foods.

job hunting

worst pain - suan - numbness i ever had

chinatown - japan - easter service

People

Gardenians

Happy day out

Stalking

Minutemen Meatpuppets Descendents Angst

Post Op Day 15

Post Op Day 12

Post Op Day 10

Day of Sugery (10/3) till Day i was discharge(12/3)

Back from Operation=)

Tomorrow is the Day

2 days before operation

At home

End of School Life

Back after 1 month

Christmas 2009 =D

Christmas planning=)

para-para-paranoid

weekends